WHAT IF

What If - Chapter 7

EUNWOO

I lie in bed stuck at home as I wait for my mom and sister to finish cooking for our family dinner. Every time my sister gets back from Jeju my mom and my older sister Nayoung would always plan dinner ahead to catch up and it's a must that all of us is present.

I scroll through my phone and thought of inviting Sejeong over as for sure Nayoung would want to see her, it's been more than a week since we haven't talked after she texted me that she wanted a cool-off. The first time since we were together that she first brought it up.

We were always like this, but it doesn't go long past a week until now, she would always message or call me first. But it wasn't this time and for some reason, it bothers me. I guess she was just too busy?

I message her saying that we're having dinner and that Nayoung will be here for a week asking if she can drop by.

It's almost half an hour but she hasn't replied yet, I should call her. After three rings she finally answers.

"Hello," I said smiling through the phone. As if she can see me.

"Eunwoo" Sejeong answers but her voice is a monotone. "Sorry, I just saw your message. I am at Wendy's place right now."

"I see. But will you be free a little bit later? Nayoung is here right now she would love to see you." I say expecting a yes from her.

"I'm sorry I can't, Wendy needs my help here. I'll just message Nayoung unnie ..." There was a momentary pause and before I could speak again she continues.

"I ugh, I need to go now Wendy's calling for me. Have a nice dinner and send my greeting to them."

Without being able to speak back I hear the line hang up, I feel my stomach twitch, something within me feels weird.

My eyes were fixed through the ceiling Nayoung knocks at my door telling me that our dinner is served. I sat up on the edge of the bed. She walks to me "Is Sejeong coming?" 

I answered her"NO" suddenly feeling annoyed.

She whacks my head "Did you act like a jerk to her again?"

I grunt as I touched the spot she just hit, my face in a scowl. I immediately head out the door then she paces and walks past me and suddenly turned around.

"I don't know what confidence you have in you that makes you think that Sejeong would forever suck this up, stay, and will never get tired of you." shaking her head in disappointment and continue to walk down the stairs.

I was about to say something but I held it back knowing that I won't win this argument feeling a trace of bitterness in my tongue.

All throughout dinner mom and Nayoung had a lot of catching up, all I can hear is their chattering and laugh, dad just either laughs with them or smiles in agreement while my little sister was just gobbling down her food.

I was literally just picking my food losing all my appetite from what my sister told me half hour ago.

"Eunwoo! Where's Sejeong? You should've invited her." My mom calling out my attention.

I lifted my head looking at my mom then sighted my sister shooting daggers with her eyes I looked at her and mouthed "What!" As I look back at mom I saw her eyeing the both of us.

Trying to end the conversation right away, I respond "I called her earlier, she can't come but she told me to say her greetings." I just don't want to drag this conversation longer.

"Invite her over before Nayoung leaves, I haven't seen her in a while." My mom replies and I reply with a nod.

After dinner, I headed to the terrace sat down on the long wooden chair inhaling the chilly air as I let out a heavy sigh. A few minutes Nayoung came up.

As soon as I saw her, I blurted out "What now?" annoyingly. She sat down on the chair next to me and hands me a can of beer.

"You tell me," she says.

I raised my eyebrows in question while opening the can of beer passing it to her and opens mine.

"I know what you're thinking you're out here to annoy me again." As I sip the beer foam.

"Eunwoo I'm serious about what I just told you. You've got to come to your senses, I know Sejeong is always cool about this but don't you think at some point she also gets tired about you prioritizing your friends and other things than her? We both know that these stemmed from you." I suddenly felt a sharp pang of guilt.

"You were always the first one to ask for space even though you were at fault but she still gives you the space you wanted. Dude, you're taking her so much for granted. Sejeong's too good for you, accepting whatever shit you have and gets back to you. You're draining her out." 

She's looking at me like I was someone who's been judged guilty at the court. I guess I was.

I just sat there in silence can't come up with any excuses knowing she was right, my sister always annoys me but at the same time, she always knows what's going on and ready to knock me to my senses.

She asks "So what did you do again this time?" She held up her hand "Oh, let me guess instead." Sarcasm present in her voice.

"I'm guessing something related with your friends again! Spill your shit." She moves her hands in front of me motioning as if be my guest.

I pushed her hands remaining silent. As if pleading The Fifth.

"I guess I'm right then?" She scoffs.

I know she won't leave me unless I tell her and, in all truth, I need to clear my mind I need answers to this seemingly off feeling I have. So I told her what happened on how I kind of forgot about our plans and that even though I remembered halfway I assumed Sejeong would understand.

She raised her arms and even before I could avoid it, I got a nice whack in my head again in the same spot harder than the one I got earlier.

I gritted through my teeth "What the heck! Noona!" holding on to my head as I squirm in pain.

"Goddamn it, Eunwoo you deserve more than that! That was nothing compared to what you did. This ain't the first time this happened I can't even count." She tilts her head looking at me and clicks her tongue.

"Aish! I know." I scoff feeling guilty.

"Then man up and stop being a jerk. You'll regret all of this one day, I'm telling you." She gets up sighing in disappointment.

I sat there looking at the dark sky asking myself why I kept on fucking this up acting like a jerk but expecting her to always understand.

I mulled over her words and soon the regrets crawl unto me faster than they should, god I was being a jerk and with my guilt creeping at me I immediately reach for my phone to message her.

I'm staring at my phone, typing, and deleting, typing, and deleting. I don't know what to say, I don't know how to reach her what do I say? I am not used to this, all this time Sejeong was always the first one to reach me. 

Oh shit, oh shit. What do I say, what do I tell her. Come on Eunwoo think, you messed this up fix it. I can just simply ask her if we can talk no need to chicken out.