The Me You Can't See (H.S)

06

TW: Abuse

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Haven's POV:

I'm numb.

I haven't flown in a while and having another nightmare while thousands of feet up in the air was not something I was expecting.

I can feel the tingling, the burning sensation on the elevated skin made up of scar tissue that litters various parts of my body. I can feel the burns as if they're being made fresh instead of scars that had taken up residence on my arms, legs, and stomach for years.

I feel like I'm drowning, gasping for air only to feel the water filling up my lungs every time I open my mouth. I hate when this happens.

He's here. . .we'll not here, but in my nightmares, he feels damn too real to be made up. At the moment I probably can't tell the difference, whether or not I'm faced with the man himself or the demon that terrorizes my dreams. A figment of my imagination or the devil incarnate himself.

Walking around my large bedroom, hidden in the far parts of the house I never actually called home, do I see him walking towards me as I lay limp on the ground. I watch as he lights one of his famous cigarettes, seeing as the flame brings to life the once harmless object. I learned from him at a young age that an object is not harmful unless it's wielded by someone who intends to do harm.

I can barely see through my eye swollen shut, my head laying on its side as I stare at the Barbie doll a few feet away from me. I can still feel the burn as he puts out the cigarette against my skin and re-lights it just to do the same again. . .and again. . .and again. Screaming didn't help me then and screaming won't help me now.

After a while, the nightmares fall away and I can move again, feeling the bead of sweat drip down my forehead and the back of my neck. I look up to my right to see that the flight attendant has placed a bottle of water on the folding tray of my airplane seat, looking down at me with pity in her eyes. I know she saw what happened. I'm seated in the back of the plane, away in hopes of remaining unseen but I guess I didn't do a very good job.

I can feel my lungs slowly fill up with the air I'd been deprived of while I relived parts of a childhood I would rather forget.

"Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. Please buckle up as we are beginning our descent. Thank you for choosing to fly with us and from myself and our crew. Welcome to London."

My thoughts are interrupted by an announcement and it could not have come at a better time. I've been sitting in this tiny chair for what feels like way too long and frankly my ass hurts. I mean, come on, I know I'm not exactly skinny, but they could have made these fucking seats a bit wider.

                                                                               ***

You may be wondering, what's in London, why I chose it and well. . .nothing. Nothing in London and that is its appeal. I'm seated in a cab on my way to an apartment I chose last minute after I'd booked my flight and now I can finally relax and think about the past couple of days.

I'd woken up early the night after the incident and immediately told my landlady that I'd be leaving. Thankfully she let me out of my lease early and I didn't have to end up spending as much money as I thought. Unlike her, my boss wasn't as kind. He'd yelled at me, called me all the names in the book, saying how I can't just leave without proper notice, blah, blah, blah, you get the picture. I just left, which means I didn't get my last paycheck but what is he going to do, track me down. . .I'm a ghost.