The Me You Can't See (H.S)

63*

Haven's POV:

The sun shines through the blinds and continues to lull me awake, the warmth heating my skin and pouring energy into my tired body. 

My body aches in the best way possible. My thighs burn and my head feels light and carefree. I let out a satiated breath feeling Harry moving in and out of me as we lay sideways, the both of us barely awake. 

We'd talked about morning sex before, specifically waking the other one up with it and we'd both agreed that it was something we were extremely okay with. 

His arm wraps around my body while his mouth works soft kisses up and down the length of my neck. My own hand is gripped tightly onto his arm tightly while the other grips the pillow beneath my head as I push myself back into his. 

I'd woken up feeling him poking me in the back while his hands made their way across my body, caressing my arms, legs, breasts, and neck before his lips eventually found my ear. "Is this okay?" he'd asked and even in my barely conscious state, I smiled, nodding before I looked back with my eyes still closed and kissed him as he pushed into my dripping cunt. 

That's another thing I love about Harry. We'd had a lengthy conversation about whether it was ok for him to wake me up with sex and vice versa, and yet despite my verbal consent he still asked for my permission. 

Many people have this idea that being in a relationship means that you're entitled to sex whenever you want but I can say for sure that Harry does not think that. Small things like this show me just that. 

Sex is not something he just takes from me, it's something I share with him and he cherishes it. Even when he has me bent me over a fucking hot tub commanding me to take him like the good slut I am while he pounds into me, I can still feel his love. 

I feel safe with him...and I think I always will. Now and long after whatever we have ceases to exist.

But above else, I feel it in the moments like this. The times he wakes me up peppering kisses on my body that I once hated so passionately. The moments he holds me tight and shows me what love is supposed to feel like. Because this love is all-consuming, and I pity the people who don't know what it feels like to be this in love. 

I grieve the love we no longer have. I didn't need to hear the words to know we loved each other, and I'd never felt so much unexpressed love than I did with him. 

His hand migrates to my thigh and lifting it gently, he thrust upwards into me eliciting a gasp of pleasure as he hits a spot so deeply. 

"Harry." I gasp, my head falling back as his face finds its home in the crook of my shoulder, kissing my collarbone. 

"I know baby. I just want to make you feel good." he says groaning slightly. "You're doing so good." he whispers words of encouragement to me. 

His words are breathy and I know he's about to come. I look back at him and he looks at me, his eyes glazed over in his own pleasure. Once again I get lost in the way his eyes capture mine like nothing I've seen before. 

They're wind flowing through a meadow, a sunflower field in the middle of august, they're promises of the future. 

His eyes are familiar, yet never the same and I think above all else...that's what I fell in love with first. People change, their skin wrinkles, their weight fluctuates, and their hair eventually turns to grey. 

But your eyes grow with you in the most beautiful of ways. 

His puffy eye still riddled with sleep holds the memories of our love; our life and I know that if I ever get to see them years down the road I will feel every bit of safety, of comfort, and of love that I did today.