The Me You Can't See (H.S)

38*

Haven's POV:

I loved sunflowers.
The way they bloomed the way they grew.
All of it very smilier to you.
I never knew the beauty of you until I stood there staring at a room full of them, and yet all I could see was you.

Was that not what I was supposed to see,
How was I to notice anything else when you stood there just a few feet away from me,
And as I watch each petal get brighter and lighter my love for you grew wider.
Suddenly capable of holding so much more than I could have ever thought,
As if my love for you were the water that fed into the growth of your sunflower.

The sunflower of my eye.

But what if the water stopped flowing,
Would you die or would you take what was needed?
Allowing me to feed you, but now with the blood that you drew from the veins, I'd once willingly given.

And what am I to do if you changed your mind.
Stand there while I watched the sunflower I grew begin to wither and die,
Awaiting the water of someone who will never again be me.

I grew you from a seed only to watch you cut off your own stem,
The stem I thought would be loved by me.
Because there will come a time when you will have grown so tall you can no longer see.
See, while I wave and beg for me to be the sunflower of your eye.

The way you were once mine.

- Sunflower Vol 6

I drop the pen between the pages of my notebook, the sheet music judging out from its side. It has been almost 2 weeks since that night at the greenhouse and my stomach still flutters at the memory.

"What are you writing in there?" he questions, grabbing the papers between my hands.

With my legs strewn over his lap and my hands grasping the notebook tightly I shove it behind me. "Nothing." I smile as he presses a sweet kiss on my lips.

These past few weeks have felt like a dream. If I thought he invaded my thoughts before, I can't go a day without thinking about him now. His smile, his dimples, his words, everything about him makes me fall further and further.

And the more I fall, the deeper the pit within me gets.

"Do you want to stay over after work?" he asks me, pulling at my bottom lip.

"I can't I'm sorry. I promised Grace I would help her with something." That is a complete lie.

His face saddens and so does mine, but what happened last week can never happen again. I'd had a sleep paralysis episode in the middle of the night and thankfully Harry didn't wake up.

I lay in bed while silent tears rolled down my face and a scream bubbled at the surface. I couldn't move, couldn't breathe, but when I did my chest felt like it had been ripped out.

I didn't want to be there anymore and I certainly didn't want Harry to see me. So, I lay in bed bolted to the spot as I spent the next several hours staring at the ceiling in complete and utter fear.

Even as he rolled over and curled into my side I didn't want to move. God, it was so real. I could feel the blood splatter, the look of death, and the emptiness in the eyes of everyone around me.

I could see him so clearly.

That morning, I left as soon as possible without drawing attention and since then we haven't slept together.

It just seems to be getting worse these days. The number of nightmares, the severity of them and I'm just so fucking tired.

"When do you have to leave?" he questions while his hands slide up my leg and I cross my ankles.