The Me You Can't See (H.S)

29

Harry's POV:

She's asleep and here I am watching her.

I didn't think someone could look more peaceful than she does right now.

Today did not go as planned and the last thing I expected was to show up at her house drunk demanding things I had no right to demand; only to end up in her bed at the end of the night. I saw the pain in her eyes when she yelled at me when I pushed too far that all she could do was explode. It's a look that will permanently be engraved into my mind forever. Long after whatever this is going on between us implodes right before our very eyes.

She didn't deserve what she got in life. I don't know how I didn't see it before or even notice the signs. The way she acted after that night, never complaining about the pain or obsessing over the bruises as most girls would.

My heart cracked. A piece of me broke as the words left her lips and entered the space around us. My ears started ringing and for the first time in a while, I felt real pain. . .real fear. All I could see was the beautiful girl before me asking for mercy that never came.

The more I see her, the real her, the more I want to leave. . . but I can't. God, no matter what I try I can't seem to get her out of my fucking head and at this point, I sound like a broken record. She's the first thing I think of when I wake up and the last thing I see at night. Even at work, my mind drifts to her, my eyes attract to her and no amount of meaningless fucks can change that.

But I have a job to do. . .a job that will put her in danger, and I can't guarantee that she won't get hurt because of it.

How though? How do I let go of someone I know I shouldn't want?

But looking down at her, my fingers running through her hair I want to freeze this frame, so reaching over I do exactly that. Grabbing my phone, I snap a pic of the beautiful girl who enraptured me, mind, body, and soul.

I'm falling for her but I don't want to.

I don't want to think about her or wonder what she's thinking. I don't want to know if she thinks about me the same way I think about her.

She's safe now, held in my grasp as I fight off her demons that she's fought alone for so long. I would move mountains to make sure that those demons stay hidden. . .but what if I'm the demon that should never have seen the light.

She knows nothing now, about my job, what I do, the people I know, and the lengths I will have to go to protect the people I care about.

I can only hope that when the time comes, she will be long gone.

In the small amount of time we've spent together, she taught me one very important thing. She is a luxury. A luxury that I wish I never experienced because I would have never known what I lost if I never had it at all.

She was meant for me, not to love and cherish and welcome death with. No, she was meant to remind me of what I will never have. . .what I will never deserve.

I'll get my time with her, to watch as she flourishes into herself, to examine every inch of her body and memorize every birthmark, smile, and dimple. But my time is counted. An inevitable timer, that when reaches zero, will signify the end of us. It's not a matter of if but when.

She shifts, hugging me closer to my body and mumbles the one word I wish she never said to me. "Stay." she speaks as if I was given a choice to leave with her.

Closing my eyes, I press a kiss to her head, my hands holding onto her tightly because eventually, she will fade away. "For as long as you want me." I whisper back.

In her unconscious state, she finds my lips through the night and at that moment I made a promise I knew I shouldn't keep.

Because at that moment, I knew I wouldn't leave unless she told me to. And she will, she just doesn't know it yet.

I never claimed to be a good man Haven Mallard. I just hope in the time we had together I proved to be worthy of the small glimpse of heaven that is and will always be you.

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A/N:

Hey my lovelies,

Double update, look at me. This is just a short chapter from Harry's POV so I hope you enjoy. I you haven't read chapter 28 yet, go read that first and let me know your thoughts.

Don't forget to leave a vote and comment.

I hope you're all staying safe and I'm sending all the love.

*forehead kiss*

-O