God, I hate You

52

it had been a few days since bucky and i had gone out together. paintball went pretty well considering that i won, part of me thinks that he let me win. but i'll just appreciate the win. i have no idea what we are. official? one time thing? it confuses the hell out of me.

"where are we going?" i asked as i walked into the kitchen. everyone was heading to the lift, weapons attached onto them.
"mission" nat said, giving me a gentle smile. i frowned at them and leaned against the wall,
"how come no one told me?". tony shuffled uncomfortably on his feet, he took a few steps forward and placed his hands on my shoulders.
"oh you're gonna tell me something i don't wanna hear" i murmured, looking up at him.
"i don't know if you remember, but you're on 'time out'" he chuckled. i rolled my eyes and let out an exaggerated sigh.
"i didn't even do anything bad" i whined, grabbing onto his forearms.
"a paintball gun and a real gun are two very different things, and as much as i'd love to applaud you for threatening your boyfriend. i don't feel like bailing you out again" tony nodded.
"not my boyfriend..i think"i murmured, before giving tony my most innocent face.
"not gonna work y/n/n" tony smiled, squeezing my shoulder one last time before catching up with the others.

"fine. don't call me when you need my help" i shouted after them. scott and bucky gave me soft smiles,
"i feel like i've been shot" i said to the two. scott chuckled before catching up with the rest of them. bucky let out a sigh and pressed a kiss to my temple,
"they'll realise that they need you" he chuckled. i smiled at him,
"be safe yeah?" i whispered. he raised my hand and kissed it,
"aren't i always?"
"well that's debatable" i chuckled. just as bucky was about to leave i called out to him,
"hey barnes"
"yeah" he replied, turning around.
"i lo-" i began to say before my mouth clamped shut. his face lit up as he nodded,
"i lo you too" he winked, before running into the lift. i smiled and span around, grabbing a cereal bar before heading to my room. my phone buzzed and i flipped it over to see a few messages from pietro and bucky.
bucky's messages consisted of a few apologies for not telling me that i wasn't taking part in the mission. which was pretty sweet of him.
scott's messages were mainly about the fact that he thought what i did during paintball was funny, which i appreciated.

"fuck this" i said to myself before pulling on my coat and heading out. a little while later, i sat opposite wong, a cup of tea in my hand.
"no way" wong gasped, placing his hand on my forearm. i shrugged,
"yeah, they just abandoned me" i murmured in response, okay maybe 'abandoned' was a bit dramatic, but it was true.
"they don't deserve you" stephen interjected, taking a seat beside wong. i nodded and pointed in agreement, my mouth full of the sickly sweet honey tea.
"wanna watch a movie?" i asked the two men, grabbing my satchel and pulling out my laptop.
"anything but a romantic comedy" stephen groaned. i rolled my eyes at him and pulled netflix up,
"what about..hmm, fight club?" i asked.
"never seen it" wong said, stephen said the same. i placed a hand on my chest, my eyes nearly popping out of my socket.
"what! jesus where have you been?" i gasped.
"well-" stephen began to say.
"training with some cool old lady, got it" i nodded.

a few hours later, after forcing the two to watch fight club, i had ordered food. i presented it on the table and allowed them to tuck in,
"what's rule number one?" i asked stephen, swallowing my bite of pizza.
"you do not talk about fight club" stephen mocked. i nodded happily.
"your phone is going crazy" wong announced, pointing at my phone which sat beside me. was he right? yes. the screen kept lighting up, ringing, buzzing, all of it.
"it's probably nat or something i dunno" i shrugged, turning it on silent.
"maybe you should answer" stephen said, nodding towards it. i shook my head,
"people always pick and choose when they need you" i smiled.
"well maybe-" stephen began saying again.
"i'll get it later, thanks for having me but i should probably go now, bye guys" i chuckled, pulling my bag on and waving them goodbye.

after getting back, i realised that no one was back yet. which was weird. i threw my bag down and pulled my phone out, swiping through my contacts until i found nat.
"pick up, pick up" i murmured, listening to the ringing tone repeat in my right ear. it went straight to voicemail. part of me was beginning to worry, so i rang everyone else. still no answer. a few hours passed and they still weren't back, a bad feeling settled in my stomach but i shook it away. i sat in the kitchen, picking at the sandwich i had made for myself.

just as i was beginning to doze off, the lift doors opened. everyone walked in, looking defeated.
"hey..uh are you guys okay?" i asked, looking around at the glum faces. steve walked past me, his shoulder brushing against mine.
"oookay" i chuckled nervously.
"why didn't you answer?" nat asked, walking up to me.
"i was out all day" i replied, looking around at all the nervous faces.
"why are you guys all sad for?...hey where's bucky?" i asked, a smile on my face as i searched the group of faces to spot that idiot.
"i'm sorry y/n" pietro muttered, grabbing onto my hand. i frowned at them and looked around,
"what do you mean? where is he?" i chuckled, scratching the back of my neck as a thought filled my mind. everyone looked as if they had been crying, tony looked stressed out of his mind. my smile slowly faltered when pietro spoke.
"he didn't make it".