𝘵𝘸𝘰 𝘴𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘴 𝘪𝘯 𝘥𝘪𝘧𝘧𝘦𝘳𝘦𝘯𝘵 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘭𝘥𝘴 //𝘥.𝘸

𝘦𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵

𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘩 𝘫𝘰𝘩𝘯𝘴𝘰𝘯

  I felt a piercing pain in my stomach, I shut my eyes tightly and put my hands on my stomach. Why was this happening?

I was laying down and I thought to myself, Yesterday I walked out of the drive in, the cute scary guy was talking to me. Then I fainted. Where am I now? I can't be at my house that's for sure.

I was scared to open my eyes, what if I'm somewhere I really shouldn't be? What if I get killed.... okay that's not really a problem but still! Does no one know where I am?

I slowly opened my eyes and I noticed I was facing a couch. I turned over facing the ceiling. It was definitely not my ceiling.

I sat up and noticed the same guy from last night was sleeping on the couch. Was I at his house? What happened when I was unconscious? What if something really bad happened? I look at my feet and my shoes were off.

        I noticed my shoes were beside the couch so I grabbed them and put them on as quietly as possible. I didn't want to wake him, is that weird? The goal is leave as fast as possible and quiet as possible.

I stood up, successfully and quietly. I don't even know where to go, I don't know where I am. I walked quietly to the door and slowly opened it.

I was on the north side of town. Greaser territory.

Of course I was on greaser territory why was I so surprised in the first place? I stepped out of the house clothing the door quietly behind me. I began walking. I didn't know where I was going but I began walking.

As I walked I thought to myself, are my parents worried? Did they care? Did they notice I was missing? Did Marcia care enough to look for me? Millions of questions swarmed in my mind.

It didn't take me long to find my way home. Once I got to dingos I already knew exactly where I had to go. When I got home, my family was sitting at the table eating their breakfast. I walked towards the table and sat down, joining them.

"Did you sleep in well?" My dad asked me. I felt my throat tighten and my stomach turn into knots. You know that feeling right? The one where you feel at fault or when you want to just cry but you can't.

"Oh I forgot you weren't here, no wonder there was a spot missing" my Mother laughed softly, I looked down and felt my eyes well up with tears.

I was forgotten by my own mother. I hate this house. I hate this family.

            I was starving, the maid brought me a plate of....guess what it was? If everyone got bacon, eggs, hash browns, what did I get?

             I got a kids cup, filled with fruits. You know what size a kids cup is?! I didn't care I just ate the fruits.

          "So honey how did the drive in go? We didn't even hear you come in" Our mom asked Marcia. Marcia looked at me and she didn't look happy. She looked mad.

          "Everything was fine momma, everything went as planned," she grinned fakely and kept eating her food. I looked over at my dad and he was reading the paper. I decided to make some conversation so I asked him.

            "So what's going on in the world?" I still felt the knots. I still felt like I was going to cry but you always have to cover it up. Feelings, emotions, anything cover it up with a smile.

            "Oh just somethings you would really care about football, no girl would be interested only boys would care" he grumbled as he continued reading the paper.  What if I was interested in sports? What if i want to learn it and he's just saying girls and do that and boys can.

             "Dad what if I want to learn football?" I asked him and my mother dropped her fork on her plate and ran her hands through her perfectly styled hair, groaning in annoyance as she did.

             "Dammit Leah, no! Girls don't play or learn about damn football! You shop, stay skinny,  cook, and clean, that's it Leah" i looked down feeling a tear escape from my watery eyes. Why? Why was she like this? 

            "Yes what your mother said, you're a girl." I got up and went up stairs. I heard my mother yell at me to come back down, but I couldn't keep up with my family giving me shit, at least not this time.

          I went into my used to be brothers room and grabbed some jeans, a flannel, and a white tight tank top. My brother was a good man. He was young but he got drafted and never came back. See my family hides everything.

         I grabbed a baseball cap that was in his room and went down stairs. I went to the kitchen on my own without a fucking maid. I  grabbed bacon, eggs, and fuck ton of hash browns. I was done with the bullshit that my mother and whole family gave me.

          "What in gods name are you wearing Leah?" My mother looked like she was about to knock me out or something..... ladies don't hit though.

            "I'm eating food because I'm a human being" I took a bite of the bacon and I grinned softly, I ate. I kept eating until I couldn't anymore. It felt good eating for once.

            "Go up stairs, change into something lady like and be a damn lady Leah." Marcias eyes widened as she watched our mother go insane.

            "No" I kept eating.

             "Go up stairs now?!" My mother slammed her hand on the table, making everyone and everything go quiet. I stood up and slammed my both hands on the table.

            "I said no?! Just because you're an insecure bitch doesn't give you the fucking right to tell me to stop eating!? It doesn't give you the fucking right to make me feel like shit my whole life?! You know I haven't eaten anything before this? I haven't eaten in 2 days because of your bullshit! You treat Marcia like a princess while you treat me like a garbage can! Everyone does?! Everyone treats me like shit!.... now Mother, why don't you stop eating, you shouldn't eat, you look fat. Have you gained a few pounds? Have you been eating?thanks to all of you in this house hold, I'm this close from falling off the edge. So if you see me hanging in my room like a pirate in the gallows then you did your jobs right. You made your daughter feel so unwanted that she rather fucking die then be on this earth in this fucking hell. FUCK YOU?!" I ran up to my room and slammed the door so hard I think it could break. 

       I locked the door, leaning on it as I slowly melted. I slide down the door feeling tears and unbearable sadness consume me. I hugged my knees as I sobbed.

         I saw brownie, walk over to me and lick the tears off my cheeks. He kept trying to make me happy, licking my face and jumping around.  I picked him up and hugged him as he rested in my arms. 

         Why can't they treat me like a normal person? Do they forget I'm their daughter that has feelings?