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Chapter 26- taking care

(above image is to show dream's hair length maybe even slightly longer :00)

(and yes, I did make an entire picrew character just to tell you that, ik its not v accurate it was the best i could do)

George's POV

That morning I insisted Clay let me look after his cuts and I had made a big deal out of being his nurse, getting a bowl of warm water and bubble soap. He rolled his eyes when I made him lay on the sofa wearing shorts and a t-shirt, 2 pillows behind his head and a glass of water beside him. 

I took a cloth and wetted it, gently dabbing at his leg. It took quite a bit of self control not to cry at the sight of them, knowing I probably could have prevented them if I woke up at the right time. Clay had, of course, assured me that there wasn't anything I could have done and that it had just been him in the moment, but my mind assumed the worst of it.
A hiss from the boy above me made me look up, seeing his face flushed in pain. Apologising I tried to slow myself down, being gentler and hesitant but my hands were now shaking slightly. 

It took about 10 minutes to clean all of them, and then I took some bandages and went back to caring, cleaning and covering. Eventually everything was done and I helped Clay change into a long-sleeved shirt. 

We ended up him sat on the edge of the bed while I was cross-legged behind him, doing small plaits in his hair. It had grown quite a bit at the back, making him remind me sightly of a lion (he had always had sharp canines).  He chatted to me whilst I twisted the golden hair between my fingers, me only replying in short hums and yes's from concentration. 

"What do you want for lunch?" The question just made me stop, grimace slightly and then keep going. "Helloooo?? George I was asking you." Clay kept asking, in different voices and different ways, until I answered. "I don't, Clay, you know that." His shoulders drooped and I gave up on his hair, sighing and untangling it.

"Plaits are hard."

"You're avoiding the subject." he leaned backwards to put his head in my lap, looking at me upside-down. I bent over and gave him a short kiss, giggling at how weird it was to do so when his face was the wrong way round. "George." I kissed him again. "Geoooorge. You need to eat!" I shook my head, tilting it slightly to look at him sideways. 

"I don't. I'm superhuman." My eyes refused to meet his as I sat back on my hands, humming tunelessly. 

"Well I'm not gonna disagree, but you still need food." 

"You know what I do need?" 

"A meal?"

"A wash. I'm gonna go and have a shower." at that I jumped up, speedwalking to the bathroom and locking the door behind me before Clay could stop me. I watched the handle turn and then heard a groan when he realised he was defeated. I started the water, pulling off my shirt.

 "Sorry, baby, but food is my enemy and I'm not prepared to fight it. I can't throw it up if I don't eat in the first place, and THAT is called logic." 

"No, that's called starving yourself. George PLEASE-" but I just pretended I couldn't hear him and climbed in the shower.

(598 words)

I know it's a pretty short chapter, I'm just a bit tired and it is out soon after the last one. 

Thoughts on this and previous?

I HAVE SO MUCH GOOD NEWS ON MY LIFE!! First of all, I haven't been sick in a while and my eating is alot better. I'm still incredibly insecure but it's healthier now and I'm trying different things to make me feel more confident.

Second, I found someone to talk to. Her name's Sarah and she's been doing counselling for about 4 years, she just knew someone in school so now I see her once a week.

Third, the self harm isn't necessarily better but I've been clear for ALMOST a week. 

And finally, I've discovered who I am. My gender is something I'd been questioning for a while, I didn't feel comfortable as a girl. So I've thought, I've experimented, and this is who I (at least currently) am.

My name is Bee, pronounced how it's written and heres why: bumblebees have always been my favourite animal, since I was quite little. I wanted something simple that wasn't too feminine or too masculine, but also something that felt right for me. My friend actually suggested it to me and I immediately loved it, so there you go.

My pronouns (drumroll everyone) are they/them. I'm non-binary feminine, I feel comfortable the way I am and I'm trying, slowly, to love myself!! Please respect everything I have said, thank you for the support you've given it's absolutely insane. Vote if you enjoyed :))

If you're reading this ily <3