More or less than friends

Chapter 16- Georgie

TWS: panic attack, kissing (literally just a kiss), VERY small mention of abuse

Clay's POV

We drove home about half an hour after George left. The sun was setting, and the other two were sat in the back, both fast asleep. They were knackered. But I couldn't really say the same; since I was left alone at the fayre I had been overthinking and worrying. George's exit had been so abrupt and random, I didn't understand where it came from. Every time he does strange things like this it's out of nowhere, he goes from being perfectly alright to super quiet and unsure. I didn't know what it was, but I knew I wanted to do whatever I could to help. 

There was no movement from the back of the car as I pulled up, so I just left it unlocked for when the idiots woke and decided to get out.

 The first thing I noticed was the open front door- a scary thing to see when arriving back home, whether worried about the person inside or not. The second thing was the open bathroom door, there was no-one in it but the door looked like it had been shoved in the moment. As if someone had been rushing to get inside. The final thing I saw were the small droplets of water on the floor. Barely noticeable, but there. And there were a lot of them. Tears.

"George? Where are you?" I called, looking in his room. He wasn't there. A sob came from the direction of my room, and I instantly opened the door and ran in. 

The small brunette was curled in a ball on my bed, which was soaking wet from tears. He held his stomach, but not just in a way that he'd eaten too much. One arm was round his belly, the other rubbing his throat; he seemed to be in pain.

"Gogy? Hello? Can you hear me?"

**

George's POV

A voice called from far away. I would try focusing on it, but knew that wasn't really any use. The only things I heard were my own sobs and the white noise in the background of it all. Just a static, filling my mind and flooding all of my positive thoughts. Turning my brain into liquid. 

The voice kept calling to me, not that I knew why. The acid of sorrow and fear had swallowed me whole, and it was deadly. No going back from this now. 

All I knew in that moment, all I understood was bad- I'm bad, everyone else is bad, feelings are bad, the world is bad. That sounds childish, but it's one of the most terrifying things I've ever been through. If anything positive ever happened to me, whether it was kissing Clay for the first time or buying my favourite candy as a kid, in that moment it was completely forgotten. Leaving me with only hatred, fear and sorrow.

"George!??! GEORGE??" The voice came again, reminding me of times when I was curled up against a wall, crying as the other boys kicked me and screamed my name. Called me a f**got. Times when I had no power, trapped in a circle of people much stronger than me. 

My body racked with violent sobs, my brain hurt, my chest and throat hurt, everything hurt. It was unescapeable. 

"George, please answer me. Can you hear me? George?? Gogy?" Hmm..gogy didn't sound negative. Where did that come from? Gogy....who says gogy....not mum or dad, not people at school, not teachers...

"Georgie, please!" and in that nickname, that name I only ever heard from Clay, that's what brought me back to the world.Something I only associate with positives.  My eyes opened, and I could suddenly feel the gentle but firm hand on my shoulder. I could suddenly see the terrified face above me. I could suddenly stare into the clear golden eyes that seemed so full of concern. I just sobbed, reaching out to him, in that moment only wanting affection.

*

Clay's POV

I had been calling to him and shaking him for about 5 minutes until he finally opened his eyes. They were red and puffy; his cheeks were flushed and covered in tear tracks; his entire little body was shaking violently. George looked so vulnerable, as if anything could break him at that moment.

He stared at me for a second; then reached out, doing grabby hands whilst still sobbing. Immediately I took him into my arms, stroking his hair and holding him close. The silent crying had gone on for so long, it was so scary watching the boy I loved be so hurt. He cried into my shoulder, not being quiet anymore, giving out loud sobs and balling the material of my shirt in his hands. He had pulled himself onto my lap, holding me as tight as he could around my middle as if afraid I'd disappear.

 I honestly just didn't know what to do, this was so intense and so sudden. Nothing seemed to have triggered it, but I got home to George clearly having a complete panic attack. And obviously wanted to do whatever I could to help.

"T-thank you" A small voice mumbled into my chest. I pulled back slightly to cradle his face in my hands, staring into those honey-coloured tear-filled eyes. There were still tears rolling down his face, but he was calmer, and he was smiling softly at me.

 Before I did anything he leaned into me, his eyelashes fluttering shut and his lips pressing against mine. I could taste his tears on my tongue as he kissed me, taking short breaths every chance he got. Those shaky hands grabbed fistfuls of my hair as I travelled my finger down his spine, making him arch his back into me. I grinned at the desperation of the action, resting my hand just above his tail bone. His lips quivered against mine, but the nervousness just made it feel more intimate. It was so cute, so simple, so perfect. And when George ran out of air and had to pull away, there was no doubt in my mind for what I was about to say.

"I love you, Georgie." He stared at me for a second, eyes sparkling and cheeks flushed a bright pink.

"I-I love you too."

(1044 words)

Idk how I feel about this lol. I mean I promise there's gonna be more chapters and they won't all just be about George having a complete mental breakdown XD

Thoughts?

Ima write about parents at some point, I'll go into more detail about Clay's and Gogy's past, and there's still a bunch of stuff to happen. So don't worry, this book is nowhere NEAR the end. PLEASE VOTE IF YOU ENJOYEDDD

I love you <3