Let It Go

11.

Meredith leaned against a wall, waiting anxiously for Richard. She knew he needed his approval before doing such a risky surgery. She needed his vote of confidence too. With each moment that went by, Harrison's condition was getting worse and doubts about herself were rising. The ED doors opened and Meredith looked over at them. A tall distinguished looking man entered, a neatly dressed, greying woman on her heels. "My grandson and our daoughter, Annie... We got a call," the man started the moment he walked in. "Where is my Annie?" the woman cried frantically. "And little H. Where's my little man?" "What are their names?" a nearby nurse asked. Meredith shuttered. Derek's parents. These had to be his parents. She fought the urge to run away, avoid giving them the bad news. She didn't have time to hide.

"Excuse me?" Meredith said, walking up to the couple who were battering the nurse with questions. "Hi, I'm Dr. Grey. I'm taking care of your grandson," she said, extending her hand. "Dr. Grey," the man said, taking her hand in his. "I'm Dr. Shepherd and this is my wife, Ginny. Please, what do you know about our grandson? And our daughter?" Meredith looked up at Dr. Shepherd. Derek had his eyes, and even though Dr. Shepherd's was now gray, Derek had his hair too.

"Dr. and Mrs. Shepherd, where is your daughter's husband?" Meredith asked. "Business trip," Mrs. Shepherd croaked. "We've called him. He's in Houston, trying to get flight home," Dr. Shepherd finished. Meredith groaned inwardly. Harrison's mother couldn't be with him and his father was a couple thousand miles away. Perfect. Just perfect. "Please Dr. Grey. Be honest," Dr. Shepherd said. Meredith nodded. "It's bad," she said truthfully. "Harrison was ejected from the vehicle. He's suffered a severe brain injury." Mrs. Shepherd whimpered. "Your daughter, Annie... I don't know too much, but I do know she's in surgery and that the baby was in distress. She's in good hands though. Dr. Stevens knows what she's doing." It was too much for Mrs. Shepherd to stand. She whimpered again and eased herself into a nearby chair where the tears started falling.

"Frank," came Richard's voice. "Richard," Dr. Shepherd greeted. The two men hugged. Meredith remembered that Derek's father had been the head of neurosurgery until he had retired at the beginning of the year. That was more pressure added to her to save Harrison's life. "Where's my son?" Dr. Shepherd asked. "Where's Derek?" "He's on the fifth floor in a conference room - we're having a board meeting. I agree with Mer - Dr. Grey - that it's best, for now, that Derek doesn't know nephew is here, not until we get him into surgery anyways." "His sister is here too," Meredith piped up. "What?" Richard asked, looking at Dr. Shepherd. "Annie - she's in surgery. Brian, he's in Houston. I don't... What are we doing?" Dr. Shepherd asked, his stress level growing. Richard and Meredith traded glances. "Frank, let's step into somewhere more private," Richard said, motioning to a empty family room. Meredith looked over at Mrs. Shepherd. "Leave her be," Dr. Shepherd said, glancing at his now sobbing wife.

Meredith motioned for Dr. Kern to join them. "Tell me the truth - how bad is it?" Dr. Shepherd asked. He was a doctor too. He knew what it meant when families were asked to step into private rooms. "Dr. Grey?" Richard said. Meredith took a deep breath. She hated this part. "Dr. Shepherd, Harrison suffered a severe trauma. He has an an aneurysm in the baislar artery and it's leaking." "Oh God!" Dr. Shepherd cried, sinking into a chair. He knew what that meant. He knew exactly what that meant. It meant he was losing his grandson.

"Dr. Shepherd, I want to operate," Meredith said. Dr. Shepherd looked up. "Operate? How Dr. Grey? Its inoperable..." "Not quite,' Meredith answered. "I want to do a standstill operation. It's risky, but it is the only chance I have at saving him." Dr. Shepherd stared at Meredith. She was young. Even though her badge said she was an attending, he knew she couldn't have been long finished her fellowship. And she was talking about a surgery very few attempted and even fewer survived. He himself was a legend in neurosurgery, but he had never performed a standstill. It was a new procedure and while he didn't like to think of himself as old, he knew it was a procedure for the next generation of doctors.

"You want to open my grandson's chest, drain his blood, induce hypothermia until he's clincally dead and then bring him back to life," Dr. Shepherd stated. Meredith swallowed hard and nodded. Dead. She was techincally going to kill Derek's nephew. And then bring him back to life. "I know it's a risky surgery. But it's his only chance at survivial," Meredith said gently. "We need your permission," Meredith added.

Dr. Shepherd weighed the options. Without the surgery, his grandson was dead. With it, his chances of surviving were slim. But he had a chance with the surgery. However slim it was, there was a chance. And as much as he hated to admit it as he believed in science, miracles happened all the time in medicine. He had to give his grandson a chance. He looked at Meredith again. There was something about her he trusted, something that soothed him. "Do it," he said. "Have someone bring me the papers. I'll sign them. Do it Dr. Grey. Do what you can to save my grandson." Meredith nodded. "I promise - I will," she said.

Meredith left the room, Dr. Kern on her heels. "Dr. Kern, prep Harrison for surgery. Get me an OR without a gallery," she ordered. "I get to scrub in?" Dr. Kern asked excitedly. "Yes. But don't go broadcasting it around the hospital. This is still being kept quiet." "Yes ma'am," Dr. Kern said. "And hurry!" Meredith added. Dr. Kern took off at a run towards Harrison's room. "Heart surgeon," Meredith mumbled. She needed a heart surgeon. Burke was out. He was in the meeting with Derek. While she knew Richard could get him out of it, she didn't want to raise suspicions. Plus Burke intimdated her with his God-like prescene. She didn't need intimdating right then. She spied Cristina wandering towards her, reading a chart.

"Cristina!" Meredith called. "What?" Cristina replied. Meredith grabbed her and pulled her into a bathroom, locking the door behind her. "Seriously? The bathroom? I'm not looking at any of your - parts..." "What do you know about a standstill operation?" Meredith interrupted. "Standstill? That they're awesome. Why?" Cristina replied. "I'm doing one," Meredith said. "WHAT?" Cristina cried. "In just a few minutes. I've never done one. I observed once though. But I need a heart surgeon. I can't use Burke. He intimidates me and I'm freaked out enough without him hovering in my OR. Can you do it?" Meredith asked. "Are you kidding me? Of course!" Cristina said excitedly. "Now? Are we doing this now?"

"Pretty much," Meredith replied. "But Cristina, there's a catch." "A catch?" "Our patient.... He's Derek's nephew." Cristina's eyes got big. She'd seen the blonde kid tagging around the hospital behind Derek before. His mom did psych consults for her sometimes. "Meredith, his chances, they aren't good..." "I know. But he has none without this surgery. He's got an aneurysm in the baislar artery and it's leaking. I don't have much time. My plan is to go as far as I can, you stop his heart, I clip the aneurysm, you bring him back. About how long will I have?" Cristina sighed. "45 minutes, tops. Meredith, we're going to kill a child. A six year old child!" Meredith nodded. "I know. Believe me. I know." Cristina sighed. Meredith was under a lot of pressure. This was a risk, but they were going to do it. "Let's do it," Cristina said. "Let's do it," Meredith repeated, her stomach turning over. They left the bathroom and hurried up the stairs to the second floor. Dr. Kern had paged her to tell her they were in OR 7.

"Meredith," Richard greeted outside the scrub room. "Dr. Yang? Good choice," he said of Cristina. "Chief, get security guards up here. They are to keep Derek out of this OR, but force if necessary," Meredith said. "I've already placed a call. Derek is going to come up here the second he finds out and he's not going to be rational. Be prepared for that," Richard instructed. Meredith nodded. "I've got to get back and carry on that board meeting as though nothing bad is happening. But if you need me, call." Meredith nodded. "Goof luck," he told them before disappearing towards the elevators."Here we go," Cristina said. Meredith followed her into the scrub room.

As the water ran over her hands, Meredith was certain Cristina could hear her heart beating. She was terrfied. Completely terrified. She had no idea if she could pull this off, no idea if she could save Harrison. All she knew was that she had to try and she had to try everything she could think of. Losing him was not an option. He had a new sibling to meet, a pirate ship to build with his uncle. He had first dates and little league games and prom and high school graduation. There was only one acceptable option and that was to work a miracle. Yet she was performing a surgery she had never performed before. "You okay?" Cristina asked. "No,' Meredith muttered. she pulled on her gloves and lowered her mask. It was time.