Let It Go

26.

"Quick - give me one good reason I should eat this less then five months away from my wedding," Izzie asked Meredith, starring down at the large sundae she had put together in the cafeteria minutes earlier. "Because your wedding is less then five months away and you're a doctor - we don't have time for mundane things like eating so all the calories we're about to consume will be burned away during the hours we're going to spend in the OR in the next few days so they won't matter in the grand scheme of things," Meredith supplied before taking a large bite of her own sundae. "That works," Izzie agreed before digging in to her own sundae.

"How is Harrison?" Izzie asked between bites. "He's great. I'm going to be able to discharge him soon - maybe day after tomorrow. I think I'm going to miss him when he goes home." Izzie smiled. "You've gotten attached to him," she said knowingly. Meredith nodded. "Him and his whole family really. They're so - something. They're like, a real family - or something."

"They are pretty great, aren't they?" Izzie agreed. "I may as well have not discharged Annie. She hasn't left the hospital. Which I wouldn't either if both of my kids were still here." "How is the baby?" Meredith asked. "He's good - really good. I'm going to keep him for another week or so probably but to be a preemie, he's doing incredibly well. She's finally able to hold him. That's always such a relief for parents," Izzie answered. "I can imagine," Meredith agreed. "Has she named him yet?" Izzie chuckled. "Not that I know of. She has to come up with something before she can take him home though."

Meredith and Izzie sat in silence for several moments, enjoying both their ice cream and being outside. It was hot - almost too hot - but inside the air conditioner was cranking and the hospital was almost too cold. It felt good to be out in the sun, the slightest of breezes occassionaly lifting the hair that had fallen out of their ponytails off of their faces and necks.

"Dr. Shepherd apologized to me this morning," Meredith stated. Izzie looked at her over a spoonful of ice cream. "Really?" she asked. The surprise in her voice wasn't lost on Meredith. "Yeah. I busted into his office, told him off for bumping the surgery on the FAS baby and said stuff about getting over Addison... And he apologized," Meredith said. Izzie was confused.

"But the baby... She died. He didn't bump your surgery...." "I know. I didn't know that at the time though. I looked at the board, saw my name was gone, a nurse said he'd been there making some changes... I stormed his office, told him what I thought... It was embarrassing to tell the truth. He knew exactly why I'd made the assumption that he'd bumped the surgery - to get back at me for the standstill - and from there, he apologized to me."

"What did you say?" Izzie asked. Meredith shrugged. "I tried to apologize for what I'd said - I got a little personal - but he waved it off. He was sincere and all. I guess I sort of forgave him but not really." "Sort of forgave him but not really? How does that work? I may be able to use that on Alex," Izzie asked. Meredith smiled slightly. She never would understand the constant bickering that went on between Izzie and Alex. "I'm not angry anymore but I'm not over it either," she explained. "Makes sense," Izzie agreed, stirring what was left of her sundae.

"You really liked him," she stated. "What?" Meredith asked. "You really like Dr. Shepherd or Derek or whatever." Meredith didn't reply right away. She was weighing the options between being honest and telling a lie. Lying would be the easy way out. But Izzie seemed to have the ability to weed out a lie from the truth. Lying wouldn't do her any good. Besides, Izzie had become a good friend. Meredith opted for the truth, finding some comfort in the fact that she finally had a friend she felt confident in confiding in. She'd never had that before.

"Yeah," she confessed. "I really liked him. But then he went all... not McDreamy or whatever." "He's been through a lot," Izzie said. "I've known him for a while. Addison's death rocked him. He went from being the chipper Dr. Shepherd everyone loved to the sullen, moody Dr. Shepherd that the interns were assigned to when their resident felt they needed to be punished for something. A few weeks ago - like your third day here or so - Alex and I saw you and him sitting together in the cafeteria having a late lunch. He was laughing Mer. He like, doesn't laugh."