Let It Go

63.

"I like sex in the shower," Meredith stated, curled up in Derek's arms as the they lay together in bed at the trailer. She heard Derek laugh. "I like sex in the shower too," he agreed. "And sex on the porch. Sex in the kitchen..." Meredith giggled. "We've had a lot of sex this evening," she observed. "You're giggling again. All that physical work was more then worth it," Derek told her. He kissed her temple and ran his fingers through her hair. "There will be more of that physical work soon, you know that right?" Meredith asked. Derek grinned. "Yes I do," he agreed. "After all, we're both off tomorrow." Meredith giggled again. "Which I'm sure you had nothing to do with," she accused. "Well I do make the schedules...," Derek admitted as he pulled her away from him so he could kiss her again.

"Mmm...," Meredith groaned. "You are never leaving again," she informed him when she came up for air. "You're bossy," Derek grinned. "You're an ass." "An ass? Why am I an ass? I did nothing to deserve being called an ass," Derek agruged. "You called me bossy." "You are what you are," Derek stated. Meredith retaliated by smacking him playfully. Derek laughed and rolled onto his back, pulling Meredith on top of him.

"I like it when you're bossy. It keeps me in line." Meredith smiled down at him. "So I've heard." She kissed him again. She pulled away to smile down at him. She was in love. Completely and totally in love. She, the girl who had said on way more then one occasion that she would never settle down was starting to see a very real future with Derek. It scared her, but she didn't want to run. She didn't want to lose what she had found with him.

"What?" Derek asked, noticing her staring at him, smiling. "Nothing," Meredith said with a smile. She rolled off of him and settled into the crook of his arm, head on his chest. "Don't nothing me Meredith Grey. What is it?" Derek asked again. Meredith smiled up at him. "I was just thinking... Happy Derek. I'm happy. Really happy." Derek kissed her, unable to get enough of her. "I'm happy too," he told her sincerely. "So damn happy." Meredith's contented sigh and the feel of her wiggling to get closer made him smile even more.

"Mer?" he asked. "Hmm?" "I meant what I said last week, about how amazing you are. With Ellis Grey for a mother..." Meredith propped herself up on her elbow to look at Derek. "Ellis Grey set a damn good example for me," she stated. Derek was confused. How could anyone call Ellis a good influence?

"She showed me exactly what I didn't want to turn into," Meredith explained. "I didn't - don't - want to be her. I wanted to be a surgeon. I've wanted to be a surgeon my entire life and not just because Mom was one. I really don't know why I wanted to be a surgeon. But otherwise, I don't want to be anything like my mother. I don't want to be some bitter old woman who regrets her children and defines herself by work and work alone."

Derek stared at Meredith. "See?" he asked. "This is what I'm talking about. You're... you're just so... I would have been nowhere without my parents being there for me and yet you, who grew up basically parentless, have it all together. I don't know how you do it but it amazes me." Meredith smiled. "I don't have it all together, trust me. I have mommy issues and daddy issues.... I have issues." Derek shook his head. "You have issues but they don't define who you are," he said. Meredith chewed on her lip.

"What about you? You have issues. Do they define who you are?" Derek was taken back by the question but reached out to play with Meredith's hair again. "My issues... I guess we're talking about the, the um, the Addison issues?" Meredith nodded, now beginning to regret bringing it up.

"I guess they do... Or don't... I'm not really sure Meredith. All I know is that since you came into my life, my world has made a hell of a lot more sense. I'm more like myself right now then I've been in a very long time," he answered. Meredith nodded. "So I've heard," she smiled. "Mark and Annie?" he inquired. Meredith nodded to let him know he was right. "Gossips," Derek muttered. Meredith giggled. At the sound of her giggle, Derek was ready for another round.