Just Listen

Chapter 24

[Play Halsey without me in the background while reading]

Uncanny's POV

Pain is such an obnoxious feeling. Pain, misery and suffering is all I know. I hurt the people I care most about. And sometimes I want them to hurt me back, so I can feel their pain and mine burn and dance with passion. It's like a drug that I cannot escape from. No matter where I run to, it follows, like a shadow.

Pain makes me weak, vulnerable and angry. It makes me do things I don't mean just so I can numb it. But how long does it last?

The pain I felt when I was dating Javan is nothing compared to the hate my daughter has towards me. It kills me. I don't know how to make things alright. Day by day it gets worse. Night after night, if Javan isn't here to make my life a living hell; my own mind will do that. Emotional pain isn't supposed to hurt physically.

Not the way I was taught. I thought that things would be okay in time. They say time heals all wounds-well guess what s**theads? Time only makes my pain worsen. Each second I feel like my heart could explode, the pain I've harbored since I was fifteen to date. Has only made me a shell of the girl I used to be.

I have been staying at a hotel since that night of the press conference, the outburst Kamilah and I had surely stirred up the press. Worst part? I couldn't even go back to my own home, fearing the devil that lurked within its walls. It has been a month since then. I have no idea how my daughter is doing. I can't even go see her because Javan will find me. I have to protect her somehow. Hiding and running seem like the worst choice, but it's all I can for her. At least for now.

Kamilah's birthday is around the corner and I'm not sure how I'm gonna do it. She deserves the entire truth, but how can I open myself up to everything that pains me...including her. I hate and love her with a passion. If I hadn't fallen for Michael, she wouldn't have been born. I would have at least had to protect my own skin, but I couldn't, because she was a part of me. I could not fight back in order to protect her.

I had thought that for once I had escaped, but no, I failed once again. "Hi, Bonnie..." the sound of his voice made me nauseous. I was in the parking lot at the basement of the hotel I had been staying at, when this nightmare suddenly resurfaced. Tears began welling up in my eyes. I refused to turn around.

"You've disappeared on me, for a month. Successfully at that. But, you forget, I own you. Wherever you go, I will follow. There is no place for you to hide." He sneered.
"And that little stunt you pulled up a while back, really sparked up my nerves." I heard him inhale deeply .
"You really disappoint me, Bonnie. I thought you cared about our reputation. Now all will know about what you did."

"What I did? No body f*cking knows that I am with you! You're a f*cking psychopath Javan!" I screamed pulling on my hair and spun around to face him.

His upper lip twitched, signaling that he was furious. He roughly facepalmed himself before going for my neck. In a split second he was choking me.

He licked his lips. "You do not get to make that choice! I do!"

I was choking on sobs, "Le-t...g-go..." seeing spots everywhere. If he didn't let go now, I would pass out or worse he'd kill me. Kamilah still needs me.

Without even thinking it, I jerked my knee up between his legs. The sudden impact made him release his hold on me and crouch down.

I coughed on the floor and dragged myself towards the elevator. As soon as I was strong enough, I got up and ran. "I am going to kill you!" He called out from behind me. I didn't bother looking, only when I was in the elevator did I finally let myself breathe. Coughing hysterically.

Now he knows where I live, I'm no longer safe. Something has to be done.

I dragged my feet to my hotel room. I was about to unlock it, when my hair was yanked back!

The sudden impact hurt both my neck and skull. Dammit! "You can't run away from me. You and I are the same. Remember? We killed Nana." He whispered in my ear.

"No!" I croaked, fighting the tears.

"Yes, it's you and I against the world remember?"

"I. HATE. YOU." I murmured. Grinding my teeth. I stepped on his toes with my heel. Grave mistake.

"Sh*t!" He mumbled. He shoved me against the wall roughly. The impact was loud and painful. I think I broke a rib.

He started hitting me. Punch after punch. I felt helpless all over again. When did I become so numb? When did I lose myself?

I don't know how it happened, but it was sunrise, I was driving mindlessly on the highway. My body ached. My eyes were swollen, my nose bled a little. My life is a joke.

I pulled over getting out of the car, and walked towards the barrier of the bridge of the highway. A commotion begun. Cars hooting behind mine. Some drivers even yelling and shouting at me. I could not hear them, I could not even feel myself.

I stood over the edge of the bridge. The wind blowing my hair in all directions. NF's paralyzed song now made sense in my head. I'm paralyzed, where are my feelings? I no longer feels things I know I should. Where is the real me? I'm lost and it kills me...inside. I'm paralyzed.

My left foot dangled in the air, closing my eyes, letting the tears freely fall...nothing mattered. I didn't matter.

"UNCANNY STOP!" Someone shouted from behind me. I let out a strained chuckle. "Please, this isn't the answer." The person was really careful and mindful with his choice of words. "Don't leave me..." pain, I heard pain. I blinked my tears away. Trying to regain control of my body. "Step back, please, slowly."

"You sound like...Michael." I choked on a sob. "But he's dead." I wailed. I leaned my body forward. Towards the welcoming gushing wind and ocean at the bottom.

"No!" He called out. "Bonnie...it is me. Turn around. I'm here, I've been always there for you. Looking out for you. If I had known what you've been through has done this...please Canny." A shockingly electric shiver awakened my soul. Only one person knew how to call me that. I wanted to turn around but my foot slipped, momentarily, a hand yanked me back to safety before both my feet tipped off the edge. "OMG!" People now began panicking. Really? Were they here all along?

We both cried on the safer side. Beneath the railing. He clung onto me. "Why did you want to do that?" He questioned, weeping. He wiped my tears off with his thumbs and I could not believe my eyes.

"Daddy?" Kamilah's sad voice broke our daze.