Just Listen

Chapter 11.2

"I -did- care about you, I just had no other choice. If we had never met, it would have saved us both some grief."

"I'm mainly sorry that somewhere along the way, I started to care about you."

"I TOLD YOU TO LEAVE, BUT YOU DIDN'T. I GAVE YOU THE CHANCE!"

"All he ever did was use you..." he stood behind me, gently rubbing against my bare shoulders.

I sighed, "Are you ever going to listen? There is no us, there never was."

He slowly turned me around, gently lifting my chin. Our eyes locked. He leaned in for a kiss and I looked away. My heart gave off difficult palpitations.

"If you love me, you will leave," I said hoarsely.

He slowly let go of my chin, I couldn't even bare to face him. "I wish you looked at me the way you look at him..."

Before I knew it, I heard footsteps walking away from me. When I heard the door close shut; I finally let out the breath I had been holding. It hurt. It hurt so bad than any physical pain. I scurried to dry my eyes and fix my makeup. Fixing the creases on my strapless ivory satin beaded gown, made me look like the Belle of the Ball. Looking at my reflection, a silhouette formed from behind me, and a rustling sound could be heard from the bouquet of roses I was clinging to against my chest. He ran his fingers on my bare shoulders, making my breath hitch.

"We both don't want to do this, I know. But you have to understand that we need this," he gravelly pointed out.

He took in my scent, making me tremble in so many ways. Fear. Lust. Disgust. I couldn't help but sink into it, my eyes fluttering as I closed them. Biting my lip to stop myself from sobbing as he had his way with me. Without warning, my eyes shot open as I struggled to breathe. His rough hands had a firm grip around my neck, as he traced wet kisses along my left shoulder and ear.

"I can smell him on you," he roughly whispered.

"Please, let- go," I managed.

"You do understand the gravity of this defiance, yeah?" he continued coaxing me, roughly.

I nodded, silently begging him to release me. Fortunately so, he did.

He gently brushed a strand of hair off my face, "We are starting over. Everything can be perfect, just behave, Bonnie." He stated, threateningly.

Before I even knew it, the clock struck noon. It was time. He took one last look at me, "You look decent," he said before he left.

Who'd ever thought that nightmares could be so real? Like a turtle, I walked to the venue. I descended the stairs towards the patio, where I had to walk down the aisle. Calming my racing heart, I covered my face with the veil. Each step I took was agonizing. My heart weighed heavily. One, two, three. They spilled out like leaking water from a broken fousett. There was no way I could wipe away my tears, either way, they would think they were tears of joy. Bloody hell.

Why was I bitter you ask? Just a few weeks ago I should have been married to a man who loved me. Who cared about me? Looked after me. But I betrayed him. I didn't accept his proposal. How could I marry him? He was a forbidden love. I still remember when his gentle touch grazed my skin for the first time. It was so alluring and scary. Before I knew it, I drowned my sorrows in his sheets. He felt like a safe haven. Then again, at the end of the day, I had to walk back into my nightmare.

My boyfriend- now-to-be husband- caught us making love in the school locker rooms, one day, and it was the day my lover saw the world I lived in. He saw the reason I refused to be his. He saw why I flinched at his touch sometimes. He understood where all the bruises I had come from. He saw me defenseless and weak. We were only sixteen...sixteen and so screwed.

I finally reached the alter. Was I making the biggest mistake of my life? I did love him, but I also resented him. He was my first love, after all. Although, I was also his human punching bag. At such a young age; and I had already subjected myself to such cruelty. Was it love? It was hard for to tell, but I couldn't leave him. I thought of it a lot, but could never bring myself to do it.

"Dearly beloved..." the priest's voice shook my daze.

Gazing into his eyes... He gave me a look I had never seen before, it took me by surprise. Was he feeling some type of emotion other than rage? No, it was impossible.

The priest cleared his throat. "Do you..."

***

"NO!" My thoughts ran in a cycle like a toy train; I began hitting my head frantically. My life has been hellish because of him. He is a monster, Javan Rossi is a monster.