she took all the blame on her fathers death and he took all the blame on his father's hatred towards his mother.
they were both broken, but who knew they could fix each other? i guess math does make sense now, negative and negative equals positive.
"this dress is special, mike. i'm not going to wear that." el says from her position on the bed.
she lifts her head up as he walks back towards her, "what's the story, baby?"
"it's a long one. maybe another time." she smiles sadly as he lays down besides her, "but i wanna hear it."
//
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[ the dress]
//
she huffs quietly and moves closer towards him, "when i was at the adoption centre, they had terrible clothes. and i mean super terrible but in a way i loved it because it covered all of me. it covered my legs, my arms, my neck, my fingers and my face even. yet somehow, it couldn't cover my personality from hopper." she lets out a quiet giggle as she starts to explain.
she liked how she could open up to him and other people now. she never felt like she could talk about her past before but now she feels so comfortable talking about it.
though it does bring back sad memories, she's still happy she got to share some of the happy ones with people she loves.
"now, whilst i was there i did not speak a single word considering i could barely speak anyways. i was mute the whole time, the doctors there were even worried about me but i'd give them waves and nods. hop would request to speak to me every time he could visit and we'd go into the playroom and he would tell me all the fun things we could do if i wanted to be adopted by him. he wasn't like any other person, he didn't come in and would just take children, he wanted me to actually be taken and wanted me to be comfortable. so when i agreed, he took my home and then he took me shopping with disguises and bought me a dress. that's when he found out i hurt myself and i tired to kill myself not long ago."
sighing, she continues, "i despised that dress because it wasn't like those clothes i always wore. it exposed me, it exposed my weakness, it exposed my nonexistent beauty, so i kept it at the back of the closet and hop then only got me clothes that covered me. until one day, he started to explain how beautiful i was within and its not just based on how i look. then i put the dress on and we went on a father-daughter date. that was the last time i had a special alone time with him."
"fuck, el, i'm so sorry." he murmurs against her head.
she shrugs softly, "i just miss him sometimes, it's okay. his beard was stupid and was the reason i woke up everyday. just so i can put whip cream on it and make fun of him." she trails off as he laughs, "i can imagine."
![[ the dress]](https://img.wattpad.com/545e453b4e8c7bd06970ac98128b9c92f2b75e19/68747470733a2f2f73332e616d617a6f6e6177732e636f6d2f776174747061642d6d656469612d736572766963652f53746f7279496d6167652f68725651494c674c5a626f4831513d3d2d313037363039303035312e313638326138383762643633363339323534383734313837323331332e6a7067?s=fit&w=720&h=720)
