((condensed version))
February 9, 2020
I should be thankful I'm not on the streets
I should
But when I'm staring at the same walls
When I'm listening to the same speeches
When I wake up, and remember again how I'm still here
It's like jumping off a bridge all over again
Time seems to never work in my favor
I wish there were a way to turn off
To shut down, these next couple of weeks
No more fighting the rules that will never be fair
No more waiting for things to come sooner
Just dealing with it
Seemingly vacant inside
How do you empty your mind?
How do you gouge out everything within you that makes you yourself
And replace it with an obedient emptiness?
With the satisfied slavery of entrapment
How do you stomp out a fire so it stops burning you up inside in vain?
These are questions I've asked myself every time
Every time I'm trapped or shoved into a corner
So I have to stuff my complaints in a closet
And blame myself because no one else would take fault
Maybe it was nobody's fault
But either way I'm still here
Where do I go?
YOU ARE READING
18 Years of God Damn Bullshit: A Memoir
Non-FictionPoems and stories from my chaotic life because I love to trauma dump with sexy words. Be kind, and enjoy <3