18 Years of God Damn Bullshit: A Memoir

Fightboy

My boy is a fighter, they say

Except they dont say boy, and they call me a coward

I think of what I wish they could see as they stack the words I inherited on top

And when it crushes me, and when I hurl them off my back over their heads

That, is called fighting

I fight for the name of man called myself

He is not what you would think a warrior is

But even short men are heaved into battle

Even gentle hands can break bones when necessary

I have had to fight for more than a name

I have had to fight for a roof that shields one from homelessness

And safety from the hatred of the ones I've called 'family'

No one told me they never see you until you fight back

It took me 16 years

It took a bad haircut and slurs thrown at me from a speeding car

It took the strength to peel off my feminine mask

Because the world can only take so much before you realize, the mask doesnt save you

And when I stopped hiding

When I kept walking through the fear of cold nights on the street, empty stomached

When a bruised face was the least of my worries

I became a warrior

Because I learned, some things are worth fighting for