You're bad for me, I know
It's like watching a car crash that I welcome because I'm afraid of being alone
But I love your silence
Not your awake silence that stretches apon aching seconds
Not your silence when I'm afraid I've said the wrong thing
And definitely not the one when I ask when you're coming over just for you to leave the question hanging
But when you're asleep, I forget all of this
A danger that sleeps is still a danger, but how small it seems when you hear the way it breathes
The way I can hear your fan over the phone, small noises that tell me you're still there
Like the radio stations I turned over those nights a radio was all I had
I imagine it's just for me
I imagine I'm the only one like I imagine I'm there with you
And I lie to myself that this never came with an expectation
You are not special
Neither am I
But I love your silence like I dread your goodbye
YOU ARE READING
18 Years of God Damn Bullshit: A Memoir
Non-FictionPoems and stories from my chaotic life because I love to trauma dump with sexy words. Be kind, and enjoy <3
