Une Fleure Fanée

Week 5 Part 6 (Saturday)

    Six in the morning. Nine and a half hours, and yet, it's not enough sleep. Most people are refreshed, but I'm still so tired. I rub the sleep out of my eyes, and I wait for GiaNina to get down before I stand up.

     I look out the window. It's snowing! I tap GiaNina on the shoulder and point to the window.

     "Your Mimi's with you. It's good luck," I whisper as we all race to the big window.

     It's the really light snow that sticks to the trees. GiaNina's so excited. The light snow is what GiaNina calls, "Mimi Snow." We don't have a lot of time to look at the window. We have a competition to get to.

     "I'm not gonna get kicked off the team. Try me any other day, but not when I'm dancing for my grandma," GiaNina says before turning around to meet up with her mom for something.

     We all wear black pants, black boots, and a big black puffer jacket. The puffer jacket is a bit big on me, and I'm filled with joy. We get on the bus around seven o'clock, which is also when I take my Venlafaxine. When we get to the location, nobody's waiting for us. Maybe it's too cold.

     The silence is so nice. Of course, after we grab our suitcases and bags, we go into the auditorium and there are a bunch of little kids screaming their hearts out. It's so loud. But I put on a smile and walk past them, smiling for the photos and videos.

     We are very apprehensive around Brady's mom. But we have to show her that even though we may have been thrown under the bus for not being good enough, we can still pull it off and that we are good enough.

     The moms are defending us and arguing about what Brady's mom said to us yesterday while we are given noise-cancelling headphones to block out the noise. I get that Brady's mom is mad, but don't take your anger on us. She deserves to take it out on you, Lilliana. You're not good enough. You're a horrible dancer.

     Everything is muffled, but I can look and see what is happening. Brady and Sarah's moms are lashing out at each other. Brady seems done with his mom. Sarah, who did not have her headphones on, is trying to hide her pain.

     I'm done with this arguing about who is gonna go. We've created an inseparable bond. I would do anything to save them. And I can't do anything but dance good to save Brady, and it breaks my heart. You're not a good dancer, Lilliana. You can't save Brady.

     Ms. Abby wheels in right as the climax of the argument is over, a surprised look on her face when she hears Sarah's mom say, "Don't dismiss my daughter."

     Ms. Abby just missed the third worst argument in the dressing room. Second was last week about Brady and how perfect he was. The first one was with Savannah and her butterfly solo. I go stretch in the corner while this plays in the corner.

     As Ms. Abby attempts to intervene, the volume goes up again and I hastily cover my ears and my vision becomes hazy. We have to step it up. We are the cause of Brady going home. I feel horrible. Physically and emotionally. I have to finish stretching.

     I watch as the moms are getting the four children into their solo costumes. Mom is contouring people's bodys, the other moms are doing makeup and headpieces and hair and costumes, and everything is a jumble.

     "GiaNina, Hannah, you have a rematch. GiaNina, you're doing a lyrical piece-- what you said you needed to win. We gave you the turns, we gave you the jumps. We gave you all the emotion in the world you can bring to this piece. So I hope this is your 'it' dance or that is going to be the end of it," Ms. Abby tells GiaNina, who looks confident and definitely not worried that her ALDC career is at stake.