Today is Valentine's Day. I get Ms. Abby some chocolates. Everybody made cards and got flowers and Swedish Fish and chocolate. When we aren't rehearsing or doing anything dance-related, she is so nice and really fun. It's very confusing to see that Ms. Abby is so nice and happy out of the dance studio, but as soon as we're in, it's like she's a different personality.
We are also rehearsing our group number. The sirens are scary and bring up some traumatic memories that I have to suppress. I am wearing a white polo shirt and tan shorts, and the others are wearing red polo shirts and navy polo shirts to represent the opposing sides. As scary as this number is, I feel a little comfortable seeing how the outfit concealed my stomach. But the comfort goes away when I realize my thighs are very visible. The thigh gap is barely there.
Ms. Abby keeps calling my feet fat off-camera though. It is eating me up from the inside, however, I manage to seem unfazed. But I'm struggling to get the technique of the dance. Ms. Abby's yelling at me loudly. She keeps comparing me to Brady. You're not good enough, Lilliana. Never have, never will be. Brady is so much better than you.
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Fanfiction***MATURE WARNING*** "The hunger is good. You had too many calories already. You're already fat." "They'll love you even more when you're skinny. You'll be their perfect little angel when you're nice and pretty." "Lilly, I heard you puking up the c...
