***lilly***
I wake up at the nice hour of... three in the morning. The urges kept telling me to throw up the Clif bar. It's tempting, but everybody else is sleeping. Hannah has her head on my shoulder so I can't move. I turn my head ever-so-slightly. Everybody except Ms. Ann is asleep. I don't know why she's up. I look out the window and it looks like we're in the parking lot of the dance company. I guess we were all too asleep to wake up.
We're gonna be woken up in two hours. I can't do anything like be on my phone, because that emits light. I just look straight ahead, and the boring background of the seat forces me back to sleep.
"Lilly, wake up," Hannah mumbles, shaking me like I'm a ragdoll.
"I'm up!" I grunt, a wave of lightheadedness washing over me.
I steady myself, blinking a couple of times, gripping onto the seat. Eventually, it stops and I look at Hannah, who has a quizzical look on her face.
"I'm okay. Just a little light-headed," I tell her, giggling a bit to lighten the mood.
She furrows her eyebrows, but nods. Hannah's catching on, Lilliana. You didn't eat the Clif bar last night, and she probably saw you crying at the competition. You're such a bad masker.
"Girls! Off the bus. I'll see you guys tomorrow. Kamryn, I need to talk to you," Ms. Abby tells us.
"Bye! Thank you!" we all say as we exit the bus one by one and go to our cars.
I am exhausted. All I wanna do is sleep. But I know Mom will not let that happen. She'll probably want me to go to a friend's house or something.
"Hey, Lilly. Guess what? There's gonna be a surprise waiting for you back at the apartment, miss duet winner," Mom teases with a smile spread across her face.
Surprise and anxiety bubble up inside of me. I wonder what it is? Is it a new custom outfit? Is it a pet fish to keep me company? I have no clue. Your mother's probably lying. You don't deserve anything special, Lilliana. You don't even deserve to dance at the Abby Lee Dance Company. I hope this duet will take me off of probation at least. I open my mouth to speak but Mom cuts me off before I even say anything.
"Hold on, Lilly. I'm getting a call. Hello?" Mom says to the phone.
I sigh and flop back onto the car seat. I want Mom to listen to me for once in my life when I'm not having a damn meltdown. After a minute or two of banter, the phone call ends and mom looks very disappointed.
"So, I've just gotten news from Mr. Bryan, the executive producer. He says that we did not cause enough drama about the duet, and a cut had to be made. Long story short, the duet is not getting aired. I'm sorry, honey," Mom reveals to me and I almost begin to cry.
You just can't handle the truth, crybaby Lilliana. You weren't good enough. Pressley should've never been given a duet with you. She deserved someone better to perform the duet with. I'm not even excited about the surprise anymore. I mean, I'm not the first person to get dances unaired. Sarah has gotten a solo unaired, Pressley has gotten, like, two solos unaired. Stop being such a spoiled brat and accept you weren't good enough, Lillliana!
I force back my tears and take a deep breath. Maybe this week I'll have another duet, or maybe a solo. You don't deserve a solo, Lilliana. You're not good enough. I have to become excited about the surprise. Maybe it's gonna be really good. Maybe Mom is lying. Who knows? I take my medicine in the car and it's around seven when we make it to the apartment.
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Une Fleure Fanée
Fanfiction***MATURE WARNING*** "The hunger is good. You had too many calories already. You're already fat." "They'll love you even more when you're skinny. You'll be their perfect little angel when you're nice and pretty." "Lilly, I heard you puking up the c...
