Une Fleure Fanée

Week 14 Part 4 (Wednesday)

     Ah, pyramid. What a horrible day. I want to go back to sleep. I feel warm. I might as well get up, though. These days aren't going to get any easier to survive. I stumble out of bed, and the dizziness, weakness, coldness, tiredness, and a humongous pain in the chest nearly makes me double over in pain.

     I stagger to the bathroom and look at my chest. Still a big purple bruise in the middle. No amount of foundation can cover this up. My ribs are so sore as well. I put my hair in a little crown braid with these pearls. Something fancy, and it covers up a lot of the hair loss.

     After I do my makeup, I pick out a white leo with green leggings and a camo little jacket thingy. Probably a bad decision, but maybe I'll get to keep the leggings on. Maybe she won't notice it's a leotard and make me take off my leggings. Or after yesterday, maybe I'll get to keep my jacket on. I pin my leggings down, and move back to the bathroom for skincare, makeup, and meds, along with covering up my cuts. The tingle is even worse today.

     Now onto the main room. A scrambled egg. I discreetly throw it away. Easy. I put the dish in the sink and Mom starts to eat her breakfast.

     "No carpool today. Just you and me. Get ready, we have to go," Mom says with a mouthful of food, and I go to my bedroom to get everything ready.

     I grab my black leotard and tights, along with all the ballet equipment I need, along with a baggy hip-hop outfit. I'll just wear what I have on now for jumps and turns. I grab my water bottle and my black shoes, and I head out of the room.

     I rush past Mom getting her purse thrown together, and I walk fast so I can get to the elevator quickly. I hear Mom quickly walking behind me, so I slow down a bit so she can catch up to me.

     "Don't run away from me," Mom half-jokes as we enter the elevator.

     "Sorry, I'm just anxious," I apologize, out of breath.

     "I understand, but slow down," Mom sympathizes and the elevator opens.

     I slowly walk to the car, making sure I'm at my mother's side the entire time so she doesn't get mad at me. I crawl into the bag seat and discreetly begin to chug water in the back seat as Mom drives to the ALDC.

     For once, I want to hit the bottom. I need to hit the bottom so I can cut. I need a release from my wrists. It's like trying to stop an addiction cold turkey. It is trying to stop an addiction cold turkey.

     When we reach the ALDC, everybody else's cars are there; except Yolanda's, of course. I quickly grab my dance bag and water bottle. Both of us exit the car and walk into the reception where all the moms are standing.

     "Hey, Lil," Michelle says, patting me on the head.

     I smile at her and swiftly head to the dancer's den. Everybody says hi to me, and everybody's waiting for Yolanda and Elliana.

     "Where has Elliana been? She won't return any of our texts or calls?" Gia asks.

     "I don't know," I lie, feeling bad about lying.

     I see Michelle go up to Studio A with a box in her hand, and the moms get ready to follow us in. We chatter more quietly until Ms. Abby yells at us to come in. Immediately, Sarah comments on the six places on the wall. Once we're all lined up, Ms. Abby begins to talk.

     "Alright, as you can see, Elliana is not here. I asked her not to come back," Ms. Abby reveals.

     Honestly, a nice coverup in my opinion. First, we've had left on their own accord by Savannah, which turned out to be Radix competition stuff, then Brady's whole shenanigans, Kamryn being sent home by the producers, and now Elliana being sent home by Ms. Abby. You're the reason why Elliana left, Lilliana. It's all your fault.