Une Fleure Fanée

Week 7 Part 3 (Tuesday)

     Another day, same schedule. Skincare. Medicine. Hair. I put my hair in a red scrunchie behind me into a high ponytail. I put on a red sports bra and black leggings. You look so fat in the sports bra, Lilliana. Put on a hoodie for goodness sake. Good thing a hoodie is part of the pyramid dress code. I slip on a black hoodie with the red ALDC logo on the front. I slip on black sneakers.

     Remember today is your fasting day, Lilliana. Don't eat today or else you will be punished. I look at my phone. We're running late. I can already skip the Ensure for breakfast, so that's one step in the right direction for today. I grab a strawberry Ensure from the fridge this time. It doesn't matter in general, but I pretend to choose different options to throw Mom off the trail. Mom looks very nervous and pissed and angry all in a nutshell.

     I pretend to sip on it throughout the car ride with Gia and Elli. Ms. Yolanda is driving us this time. Gia and Elli have known each other before the show, so while they're catching up, I keep pretending to drink the awful pink drink. Good job, Lilliana. First meal out of three avoided for today. When we get to the studio, I plop the drink in the trash can without a second thought.

***elliana***

     Lilly's pretending to drink her Ensure. She isn't swallowing anything. I point it out to Gia, who brushes it off. In Jenga yesterday, she kept pulling at her two-piece, like she was trying to hide her stomach and her legs. Her stomach looked really small, and I could see her ribs and spine a little through the material. Her thighs looked skinnier than before. I swear, something isn't right. And when we pull up to the studio, when she throws the bottle away, I hear a slosh like there's a significant amount of liquid and it makes a heavy thump.

***lilly***

     We don't have time to lose. Everybody else is already here. Ms. Abby is almost here. We all go to the hallway into Studio A. Ms. Gianna and Ms. Abby are already there. I take a gulp. You're gonna be on the bottom, Lilliana. She probably rewatched the footage and found a mistake during your performance, so you're gonna be benched. Have fun.

     Savannah still isn't her when the producers give us the all-clear to walk in. Maybe she called in sick again. Elliana looks nervous. She's grown up a lot since she last trained here. I can't wait for all the momma drama that's going to happen now that Elliana is here. Elliana is asked to stay behind since she is not on the pyramid, which means she has to stay out of Studio A for four plus hours.

     "Girls, come on, let's go!" Ms. Abby yells, and we all hop into the studio, and Ms. Abby greets us with, "Hello, hello, hello."

     "Hi," we all say in unison.

     "How's everybody doing?" she asks us.

     "Good," I lie, wanting to keep a low profile.

     Ms. Abby notices that Savannah isn't here. She counts us to make sure that she's not making a mistake. The moms come in shortly after and Ms. Abby looks stiff and angry.

     "Where is Savannah," Ms. Abby asks, enunciating her words sharply to make them seem harsh.

     "We don't know," we all mumble together.

     "Is her car in the parking lot?" Ms. Abby asks.

     "No. She's not here. She left. I don't think she's coming. Her mom stopped by last night, and this environment is not good for her, I think." Ms. Ann reveals.

     How did an eleven-year-old and her mom be able to pack everything up and just leave under the radar? Maybe Savannah wasn't sick. Maybe that was an excuse so that they could pack up and leave? But why would she only tell Ms. Ann.