30 Day BSD Pride writing challenge!

chapter 4

Day 4: Transgender FtM pride
(Shin soukoku)

The door bursts open, far too quickly for Akutagawa to see who it was, and a figure ran in, throwing their shoes off before quickly heading down the hallway.

"IT CAME!! IT CAME IT CAME IT CAME!!! AAH I'M SO EXCITED!"

Now he knew who it was. He stood up from the couch, heading to where his boyfriend went off to. He saw him in the bathroom, looking over an instruction pamphlet. "It came?" The ravenette asked.

"Mhm! I'm so excited!" Atsushi bounced up and down on his heels, a smile on his face as he continued to read the instructions on how to apply the gel testosterone. Akutagawa stood behind him, hugging him around the waist and resting his head on the other's shoulder. They stayed like that for a few minutes while Atsushi read, before he put the instructions down. "Okay.. I think I know what I'm doing. I just need to rub it in an area that I won't touch for a while while it does it's magic."

"Where would that be?" Akutagawa asked.

Atsushi thought for a minute. "Mmm.. Maybe my non-dominant shoulder, so you can still lean on the other." He smiled.

"Alright. Do you need help?"

"Not with that actual application, but some emotional support would be nice." Atsushi replied.

"Okay. I'm right here with you."

"Okay." Atsushi took a deep breath, taking his shirt off to expose his binded chest.

"How long have you been binding for?" Akutagawa asked immediately. He was the type to always worry about his boyfriend's health, especially when it came to binding. And especially after the incident where he binded for too long and almost broke a rib.

"I put it on before I went to go get this. Don't worry, I'm gonna take it off after we do this." Atsushi replied. Akutagawa nodded, and the two fell silent again as Atsushi unscrewed the cap to the tube. He shakily squeezed a little bit onto his fingers, and put the tube down. It felt cold on his fingertips. He slowly brought it up to his shoulder, wincing slightly as the cold substance hit his skin. He started to rub it in, and that's when it all started to crash into his brain. His past, how he was never allowed to be himself, and how far he's come to 𝘧𝘪𝘯𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 be himself.

Once he was done rubbing it in, he carefully took off his binder, slipping into a baggy T-shirt. For a solid minute, he just stared at himself in the mirror.. And then it hit. He did it- He was finally on Testosterone.. After all those painful years of being treated like a whole other human, being told he would 𝘯𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳 get to this point- But he did.

He only noticed the tears when Akutagawa quietly began shushing him, wiping away his tears.

"Wha- oh, I didn't realize I was crying.. I'm sorry.." Atsushi wiped his eyes with his sleeve.

"It's okay. How do you feel?" Akutagawa asked gently.

"Really happy.. And excited.." Atsushi mumbled, a small smile on his face. He leaned into his lover's embrace, taking a deep breath as he wondered what the future held for both him and Akutagawa. "Hey Ryuu~?"

"Yes, precious?"

"Am I... Um.. Am I handsome..?" Atsushi asked, shyly. He buried his head in Akutagawa's chest, awaiting an answer. He had never been called handsome before, and so he wanted to know how it felt. He'd done this before, exploring how different terms and names affected him. Handsome was one he wanted to try out for a while, especially since his old headmaster said he "𝘸𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 𝘯𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘣𝘦 𝘩𝘢𝘯𝘥𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦.."

Akutagawa placed a gentle kiss to Atsushi's forehead. "Yes, baby. So handsome~" Another kiss to his temple. "The most handsomest man I've ever seen and had the pleasure of calling my own~" One final kiss connected their lips. Atsushi loved it. He loved being called handsome. He loved being someone's 𝘣𝘰𝘺𝘧𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘯𝘥. He loved the freedom that came with being allowed to be himself.

"Thank you, Ryuu.. I really appreciate it. I love you~"

For a long while, the pair just stood there, in the small bathroom, cuddled into each other's warmth. Eventually, their legs started to cramp, so they moved to the couch where they popped in a movie to fall asleep to. Atsushi stared into grey eyes- eyes that always saw him for who he said he was. Eyes that looked past his trauma and brought the best out of him. Eyes that loved him, and eyes of a man that called him 𝘩𝘢𝘯𝘥𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦.

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(AN: I'm quite proud of this one! Lemme know what you think!

Thank you for reading and happy pride,

  - Julian/Onyx

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