Solana Forever

S3 E7

(Another short chapter)
When I arrived at the Solana in the morning I saw Janie and Mateo stood by the desk. I couldn't tell what they were talking about but the second I walked through the door Janie rushed up to me with Mateo following.
"Did you see where this lazy sod went last night?" Janie asked with her arms folded. I was about to say yes but then I saw Mateo frantically shake his head behind her.
"No. No I didn't sorry" I lied. Janie rolled her eyes.
"You see Janie. The reason I was not here last night is because I was not well. Please Janie I need this job" Mateo begged. I was utterly oblivious to what had gone on previously. Janie looked as though she was about to cave but before she could say anything Mateo spotted someone behind me.
"Oh shit!" He hissed. "I'll get changed" he darted off to the changing rooms and I followed just to get an insight on the issue.
"Hey I didn't say yes yet!" Janie yelled after us.
I checked to make sure Janie wasn't following.
"So why was Janie going to sack you?" I wondered.
"I didn't actually have the night off last night" he sighed. "I was meant to be working".
"So you ditched work to do flamenco dancing in a posh club down the road?" I frowned.
"You said it was fun" Mateo pointed out.
"Yeah it was fun for me cause I actually had the night off" I explained. "It's no wonder she wanted to sack you" I scoffed. Mateo huffed and rolled his eyes. "Still it doesn't really matter now though cause of you expert lying skills".
"Yes. Oh and thank you for lying for me".
"No probs" we arrived at the changing rooms. "Right I've got to get behind the pool bar so I'll see you later" I waved him off as he opened the door.
"Adios".

I had been working for about an hour when a loud noise caught my attention. It was a very strange man with the strongest Scottish accent I'd ever heard. He was with Donald and Jaqueline (who else) and kept pulling things out of his bag. Not sensible things like suncream or sunglasses. Puppets and practical joke devices. He put his black bird puppet on his hand and groped Jaqueline with it. I expected her or her husband to object but instead they both laughed widely. I looked away in disgust. To my horror he began walking towards me behind the bar. I had a decision to make. I could serve the mad hatter of Glasgow or I could run away. Easy. I quickly dashed away and ran back to reception. Mateo ran up to me looking concerned.
"Are you okay" he asked grabbing my shoulders.
"Oh yeah I'm fine" I reassured. "There was just this crazy Scottish man who was clearly dropped on his head as a baby. I ran off so I didn't have to serve him". Mateo relaxed but grew an irritated and disgusted look on his face.
"Oh yes. I think I know the man you mean. Did he have a electrical button on his hand?".
"Yep. That's the guy" I clarified.
"It's good you ran. I didn't and got how you say zapped by the button".
"Oh god" I grimaced. "Let's hope he doesn't stay long". Mateo nodded in agreement as I headed back to the bar. I figured he would've finished by now.

Throughout the day we received a tonne of complaints about the guy. I just wanted to avoid him as much as possible and hoped that I could continue doing so in Neptune's. I had changed into one of my evening outfits and taken my hair down. I met up with Mateo and it wasn't long until he appeared. He was wearing a frightful orangey pink wig and a kilt.
"Wait here" Mateo muttered to me.
"What the- where are you going?" I got up and instinctively followed him.
"Hey!" Mateo called at the man. "I've been looking everywhere for you" he shook he finger in his face and leered at him. I stood slightly behind him as a back up.
"Oh I'm awfully flattered but you're not really my type" he said in a feminine voice trying to be funny.
"Listen we've had multiple complaints about you" I stepped up defending Mateo.
"About me? You must have the wrong chap" he indistinctively said.
"Can you understand him?" Mateo asked Donald.
"I can" Donald said proudly.
"Tell him I have had many complaints about the man in the dress who keeps showing his peepee to other guests" He ordered firmly.
"I beg your pardon? How dare you?" Donald said angrily.
"It's true mate. I've had at least 5 people tell me that" I informed him.
"Now young lady that kind of accusation could land you in a lot of trouble" he said still not believing us.
"Aye she's quite right" the crazy guy agreed placidly.
"There you see? You've got the wrong..." he cut himself off when he realised what he had said "I beg your pardon?".
"It's only a bit of fun" the man shrugged off. I folded me arms and smirked victoriously at Donald. He motioned for the guy to go over to him. He whispered something unclear to him.
The man stood back up straight.
"Is this the offending article?" He asked innocently. Suddenly he lifted up his kilt to reveal a pair of white knickers and a plastics dick. I didn't realise it was plastic at the time though so I quickly turned away and shielded my eyes.
"Oh my god!" I shouted.
"Put it away!" Mateo demanded over and over again. Once I understood it was plastic I slowly turned back round.
"Hilarious" I said sarcastically. "One more complaint and I will happily remove you" I promised.
"Oh it's very easily removed" he lifted up his kilt again and ripped of the penis and waved it around in people's faces. I grimaced in disgust.
"I have my eye on you" Mateo threatened.
"Oh come on! It's only a joke pal eh? No hard feelings eh?" He held out his hand for Mateo to shake. He urged him to shake it. He gave in and took his hand only to start exclaiming in pain and withdrawing his hand quickly.
"Are you okay?" I frantically asked Mateo as he clutched his hand in pain. I looked to the hysterical man. "You are entirely demented!" I yelled to him. At that I went back over to the bar pulling Mateo with me.

A few minutes later he was called up for karaoke. Turns out the ridiculous man also had a ridiculous name. Wink mcandrew. The opening for 500 miles played as he trotted around stage flashing his knob. I facepalmed at the stupid immature man. He came up to microphone.
"When I wake up..." was all he managed to sing  before he let out an ear piercing scream. The lights began to throb all around the bar and a loud buzzing noise filled the room under his shrieks. I gasped when I saw smoke come from where his hands where. I clung on to Mateo who was next to me out of instinct. Finally the winks lifeless body fell to the ground. The music was still playing as everyone rushed to his body.
"Cut the music! Cut the music! Mateo Gaby get up here!" Janie stressed as she appeared on stage beside him. We obeyed her and ran between the chairs onto the stage. Mateo knelt beside him and slapped him in the face.
"Hey? Hey crazy man?". 
"Right that's not gonna check if he's alive" I shoved Mateo aside and pressed my fingers on his neck to check for a pulse. I felt nothing. I bit my lower lip.
"Esta muerto?" (Is he dead) Mateo quietly asked me in Spanish.
"Si" I breathed. "Hes dead" i confirmed to Janie.
"Dead? He can't be dead he only touched to mic stand" Janie outlined. Mateo suddenly grabbed his wrist and looked at the palm of his hand. His electric buzzer was wrapped around his ring finger and the rest of his hand was completely black.
"Maybe he isn't dead but he's definitely is not alive" Mateo said in a jokey way. Janie looked like she was going to pass out.
"It's probably for the best" Donald told us leaning in. Janie looked at the body then at Donald then at the body again before resting her gaze on me and Mateo.
"Get him out of here" she hissed at us. We nodded in response. I grabbed his legs and Mateo grabbed his arms and we dragged the body into the backstage room. We dropped him of the floor.
"Never thought I'd have to deal with a dead body on the karaoke stage" I sighed as I crumbled to the floor. Mateo sat beside.
"At least he had a cool death". I smiled at his comment.
I really did love him sometimes.

(Wow series 3 is done already. Let me know what you think in the comments and I'll see you in series 4)