Solana Forever

S4 E3

This morning I was meant to be on bar duty but reception was so busy I had to go to reception. Mateo wasn't used to the concept hard work so he was struggling immensely. One of the people who had checked in was Geoffs mum Noreen. But Geoff wasn't with her this time. Instead she was with a middle aged lady with a unique accent and a short haircut. I assumed it was her daughter. Mateo was the one checking them in but from what I heard she was a bit of a Karen (I know that concept wasn't around when it was made but she is).  

After we had battled our way through the masses of guests our reward was working behind the bar. So we had just checked in all the guests and now we had to serve them drinks for the rest of the day. Leslie was working today which made Mateo grumpy. She wasn't even working behind the bar she was delivering drinks to guests with her roller skates. I had resigned from doing it with her because I was on my arse more than feet when I did.
"So this Leslie Les thing. Why do you do it?" Mateo questioned. This kind of thing was obviously new to him.
"I've never really thought about it" she answered honestly.
"Are you two different people?".
"Well kind of. It's hard to explain"
"I mean you are not like a vampire or werewolf? When you change you still have a pee pee yes?". I brought my hand to my face and rubbed my forehead.
"Oh my god" I sighed. Mateos stupidity really gave me a migraine sometimes. Leslie face said that she felt the same way. But before she could reply Janie showed up.
"All right Mo Larry and Curley let's get the bar cleaned up" she said as she propped her elbows on the bar.
"I've done all the mixers this morning. Ive cleaned out the drinks machine and I've topped up all the spirits" Leslie proudly stated.
"I've restocked everything that needed restocking as well. Especially the straws we were down to our last two" I explained.
"And what have you done?" She asked Mateo already knowing the answer is sod all. He looked like he was searching his brain for something before Janie beat him to it.
"Don't worry I know. Buffed your nails done your hair" she listed jokily.
"I think I saw him having a read of American vogue before" I added making Mateo scowl at me. Leslie gave a small snigger.
"Honestly sometimes it's difficult to tell which ones on the change" Janie sassed. I laughed heartily at her remark. Mateo mocked my laugh obviously because he had nothing to back himself up with.
"Why do you do all these things and make me look bad huh?" He pointed an accusing finger at Leslie.
"Mateo you never did any work before Leslie started working here it's just now she's actually doing something it's outlines you more" I pointed out.
"If a pattern emerges look to yourself" Leslie added.
"I don't know what this mean".
"Look if I look after my side of things and you look after yours everybody will get on champion young'un" then she picked up the tray of drinks and skated off.
"That's what you think" Mateo childish muttered under his breath.
"Yeah well at least she can think" I muttered back as I moved to the other side of the bar.

For the rest of the day I was behind the bar. I watched Leslie skating around with trays of drinks and snacks effortlessly. She was much better than I was. I also saw Mateo talking to Madge by the pool. I don't know what he said to her but it didn't look like she liked it. She leant closer to him threateningly and said something which caused him to dash off back to the bar were I was.
"Oh god what've you said now?" I asked as he kept glancing at the tanned woman from the bar.
"I was just how you say reminiscing. You know because her husband died. And she said she was going to run me over with her scooter" Mateo explained.
"Well if my husband had died the last thing I'd want is a greasy barman banging on about it" I told him.
"Why are you never on my side?" He whinged.
"Because your side is always wrong" I said simply as I went to serve a small boy.

Near me was Leslie talking Janie. I didn't hear most of the conversation I just heard Leslie say "Right there's a time to chat and a time to work. Nows the time to work" before she skated off. Mateo passed her looking disgusted.
"You could do with taking a leaf out of her book" Janie told him.
"Ditch the leaf he should take a whole tree" I joked.
"Whatever book he has I do not want to read it" he grimaced.
"It means you should be more like her" Janie said impatiently.
"You want me to come to work dressed like this?" He gestured to Leslie attire.
"You know what I mean".
Mateo was silent for a minute and looked like he was thinking. It doesn't happen often so when it does I can spot it a mile of. It made me very suspicious.
"So you have not been hearing the complaints?" Mateo asked. I frowned.
"What complaints?" I interrogated. Mateo shrugged.
"Some of the parents of the children they are concerned". I didn't buy this for one minute and Janie didn't seem to either.
"Concerned? About a fella dressed up as a woman? Have they never taken their kids to a pantomime?" Janie said with a eye roll. I narrowed my eyes and got close to Mateo staring into his soul.
"You sure this isn't just you having a go at her because she's better than you? Cause mysterious complaints seemed to flair up when I started and was better than you".
"Gaby why would I do this? He does all the work and I just have to look after the bar. We are a good team" he said innocently. "It's just the scary look is making little children cry. This cannot be a good thing". Lies. Janie seemed to be believing it though which was bad.
"Okay leave it with me. Cant have people complaining. I'll tell him he can't come dressed as Leslie no more" Janie sighed. I huffed and glared even deeper at Mateo.
"I think this is the best" he said with fake sympathy.
"Bollocks" I fake coughed. "Excuse me".
"Anyway get this bar cleaned up you" she said to Mateo." Gaby will you just come with me for a minute" he motioned me over.
"Sure" I said confused. When we were out of sight from anyone Janie whispered
"Don't worry I smelt the bullshit as well". I let out a sigh of relief.
"Well thank god for that. I thought for a minute you been spending too much time with gullible.com over there" I pointed to Mateo.
"No but I do need your help with trying to get back at him" Janie told me. "Any ideas?". An Cheshire Cat grin grew on my face.
"Oh I've been waiting for this".

I had multiple ideas in mind but me and Janie eventually came up with the perfect thing to do to get back at Mateo. Cut to 2 hours later and I was in Neptune's. It was quite busy in there as a lot of people had turned up that day. I was delivering a tray of meals to a table when Janie came up to me. She nodded towards Mateo stood on his own leaning against a table. I knew what she meant so I followed to him. I circled around the table and stood right next to him with a smirk.
"Listen I've been asking around about what you said" Janie began.
"What I said?" Mateo said confused.
"Yeah about Leslie frightening the kiddies and that". Mateo seemed to remember now.
"I didn't say they were frightened. I just said they were confused. Is it a man a woman? And they ask their parents strange questions" me and Janie nodded along. "I say live and let live but it's not fair on the little children".
"You're right it's too confusing" Janie agreed. "But thankfully Gaby has had a great idea". Mateo eyes my rightfully a bit scared of what I was going to say.
"Yeah what we're gonna do is give the poolside bar a proper theme".
"What is the theme" Mateo asked cautiously.
"We're making it into a drag bar!" I exclaimed enthusiastically. "With all the men dressed up as women. Won't that be fun?" Mateo looked annoyed and looked to Janie.
"You are not bringing more like him?" He stressed.
"No" Janie reassured. Mateo let out a breath of relief.
"Just you and Leslie" I finished with a huge smile. I bit my lip to stop me laughing. He looked like he just found out having sex with guests is illegal.
"What?!" He gasped. He knew I was going to be know help so begged Janie instead. "Janie no! You cannot do this. I will leave". He expected that to have an impact on us.
"Aw I'm sorry to hear that. It's been lovely working with you" Janie said not bothered.
"Please I need this job" Mateo pleaded.
"Then you'd better be in an hour early tomorrow" Janie said.
"Why" Mateo breathed.
"To practice walking in your high heels" I spluttered out before I started laughing quietly. Mateo looked like he was going to protest but I held up a finger. "Now I'd love to talk more about this but I promised Leslie I'd do a duet with her" I started to move away. "Adios" I said sweetly before I strutted to the back of the stage.

Unfortunately by the time I got there Leslie had already sung one verse and chorus of our chosen song Poker Face. But I quickly grabbed a microphone and joined her for the second verse. I was by no means a singer but you don't have to be to enjoy karaoke.
"I wanna roll with him a hard pair we will be
A little gambling is fun when your with me"
I sung as I danced on stage. Leslie was wearing a full on Lady Gaga outfit whereas I was just wearing a black skirt with a silver top so it looked a bit funny but we were enjoying ourselves. I matched Leslies marching choreography as I continued to sing.
"Russian roulette is not the same without a gun
And baby when it's live if it's not rough it isn't fun".
I winked out into the audience at no one in particular. Leslie choreography started to get a bit raunchy so I went rough. Whilst she did pelvic thrusts I rolled my shoulders to the beat. I was never a performer but I wasn't afraid to perform. For the chorus I mirrored Leslie daft dance moves. She jumped in the air and kicked her leg out so I did the same. That's how it went for pretty much the whole song. Me and Leslie making fools out of ourselves. We the song ended we struck the classic Gaga pose and everyone applauded. We were definitely original. We trotted off the stage.
"Great show partner" I congratulated Leslie and gave her a high five.
"Champion pet. Same place next week?" She joked and then let out a classic Leslie chuckle.
"I'll get my costume ready" I called after her before she disappeared elsewhere.

I made my way back to the bar were Mateo was sat sulking. As usual I decided to go and wind him up.
"I hope you took notes cause you'll be taking my place tomorrow night". He just grunted and put his face in his hands.