Serendipity (Dauntless Series #3)

Chapter 19

My doctor advised me to be bed ridden for a couple of days until I get better. I didn't allow anyone to visit me. Being around people makes me really anxious and I'm scared that I might break down at any moment.

Nagkulong ako sa kwarto pagsapit ng araw ng aming graduation. Ilang beses na akong kinatok ng pamilya ko ngunit patuloy ko lang din silang tinataboy. I turned off my phone and I'm pretty sure my friends are freaking out right now. I just want to be alone. Coming to my graduation ceremony is the last thing I want to do right now. I'm still gonna experience it in college, anyway.

"What do you need, Guinevere? Odette already talked to your dean about your absence and they understand your situation." Napabangon ako sa kama nang marinig ang boses ni Mama Adela. "Please let at least one of us in. Even your grandparents are worried about you. They're coming here."

"No..."

"Well you can't disapprove now, they're already on the plane. I figured since you don't want to talk to any of us, maybe they are the ones who could talk some sense to you."

I ran my fingers through my hair. Ayokong magalit sa kanila dahil gusto lang naman nilang makatulong pero sana naman tinanong muna nila aro kung papayag ba ako sa gusto nilang mangyari. My grandparent's are too unstable to travel that far that's why they only stay at their house. I don't care if there's a doctor on standby at the plane. They will only put their health at risk and I won't forgive myself if something bad happens to them.

Tumayo ako at dahan-dahang naglakad patungo sa pinto. I'm a little lightheaded because I slept all day. I held the doorknob and saw Mama Adela standing in front of me when I opened the door. 

"How are you feeling, mija?" She's so uptight. Her assistant is standing next to her.

"Please call off their flight. I'm sorry for making you all worry. I'll be fine, really." I assured her. Mukhang hindi pa rin siya kumbinsido ngunit pasalamat ako't hindi na nagpumilit pa si Mama Adela. She embraced me and gave me a peck on my cheek.

"Don't hesitate to call me when you need something, okay?"

Tumango ako. Sinara ko na ang pinto at bumalik sa kama pagkatapos. It's so difficult to sleep when all you could think of the moment you try to close your eyes is your rapist's face. My heart started beating out of its normal pace. I sat up straight and took deep breaths until I calmed down.

Sumama pa rin ako sa bakasyon ngunit kahit anong pilit ko ay hindi ko magawang ibalik iyong dating saya at enerhiya sa aking katawan. Gusto ko na lamang mahiga at magkulong sa hotel room ko buong magdamag. And every time Tita Odette or Gustin try to speak to me, I always space out.

I tried to live my life again. My friends are constantly checking on me, see if I can hang out with them. God knows how much I want to but I'm scared that I might get assaulted again.

Terrence got accepted into the DRMU Engineering but we barely see each other when the classes started. Our schedules contradict each other and I was quite grateful for that. He's just going ask me about what happened to me last March and I don't think I have the courage to share my dirty little secret. Not with him, the person who knew me since I was a baby.

Nang sumapit ang Philippine Fashion Week ay mas lalong sumikip ang schedule ko na kinailangan kong umabsent sa isang class ko. Napakahirap pagbalansehin ng trabaho at pag-aaral ngunit lagi kong sinasabi sa sarili ko na malalagpasan ko rin ito. I chose this for myself and I will stand by it. Besides, it will distract me from having to think about that incident again. I am trying to get past that and I won't go further if I will only stay in the same place where my suffering is. I need to save money so I can move out from the mansion.