Serendipity (Dauntless Series #3)

Chapter 20

Tapos nang magdinner ang pamilya ko nang makarating ako sa mansyon kaya hindi ko na sila naabutan pagdating ko. Nagtext naman ako sa kanila kanina na hindi na ako makakaabot sa dinner dahil matraffic noong nasa Guadalupe pa lang kami. Wala tuloy akong alam tungkol sa announcement ni ate Reign. Nasa kani-kanilang kwarto na kasi sila at medyo pagod na rin ako kaya dumiretso na lang ako sa kwarto ko. Agad akong nakatulog pagkatapos kong maligo.

I had some deep thinking after what happened at the bar between me and Krystal. As I said, I had some female crushes before but I never had a girlfriend. Brianna Antonelli was my gay awakening. I was around 9 then. She starred in a very famous drama that year and I would stay up late just to see her even if I have a morning class the next day. I had a collection of her posters hanging up on the wall, notebooks with her face on them, and made a scrapbook just for her. When her character died on the show, I spent the entire night crying. Tinrangkaso pa ako noon kinaumagahan kaya napilitan si Mama na umabsent sa trabaho para lang maalagaan ako.

I know in my heart that I don't just love people of the opposite sex but also my own. The only thing that stopped me from acknowledging that part of me is my fear of what my family would react when they learned that I like girls too. My family from my mother's side are very religious so I buried it deep within me not knowing that years later, it will only break free from being trapped in my heart. Ngayong nasa tamang edad na ako at marunong nang mag-isip para sa sariling kapakanan ay hindi na ako matatakot na harapin ito.

From now on, I will start living my life free and unapologetically.
Krystal helped me with that. I felt such happiness than ever before that it came to the point where I became afraid to wake up in the morning only to see everything in my life fall into pieces again, leaving me in the dark and miserable.

I didn't come out to my family as I find it unnecessary. Unlike my family from the mother's side, they're open-minded and supportive when it comes to LGBTQ+ Community. Of course, I did not tell them about my involvement with Krystal since we are only friends. We've already kissed several times but we don't talk about taking our relationship to the next level. I am not yet ready to commit because the last time I decided to give my heart to someone, he didn't only break it but smashed it into little pieces and threw it like some damn trash. Ayoko munang maranasan iyon. Gusto ko munang humilom ang sugat ko ngunit hindi ko alam kung hanggang kailan ako maghihintay.

Nang sumapit ang birthday ni Gwyneth ay naisipan niyang mag-organize ng pool party sa bahay nila. We didn't have to bring food since her Dads are well-renowned chefs in the country. They have 20 branches of restaurants all over the country and will soon open more abroad.

I bought two bottles of tequila. Mas mabuti nang may dala kaysa hindi. Nakakahiya naman kasi. I pulled up near their gate and fixed my messy hair before getting out of the car. The gate was open so proceeded to go inside.

Kakaunti pa lamang ang mga tao noong dumating ako. Kami nina Verona at John pa lamang ang nandito. Nagbiro pa nga si John na baka kaya late sina Sheena at Kennedy ay dahil nagdate pa ang dalawa habang si Benedict naman ay hindi makapili ng pamporma para magpa-impress kay Gwyneth pati na rin sa mga magulang nito. Sinimangutan tuloy siya ng birthday girl at tinapunan ng barbeque sa bibig.

"Guinevere, hija, I didn't know you're here already!" gulat na sinabi ni Tito Harper nang lumabas ito sa porch. Lumapit ito sa akin para magbeso. He is more easygoing than Tito Bailey who's kinda serious and restive. "Kanina ka pa rito?"

Tinuro ko ang aking kotse sa labas. "Kakarating ko lang po,"

I have my own car now but my bodyguards are still tailing me from behind as usual. Hindi naman ako nagrereklamo roon dahil kailangan ko rin sila. Medyo kinakabahan pa rin akong lumabas nang mag-isa dahil sa pangambang may makakasalubong ako sa isang lugar at bigla na lang akong dukutin at molestyahin. Nakakatakot. Hindi mo alam kung ano ang nag-aabang sa'yo sa labas. Iyong masaya mong umaga ay mauuwi sa malagim na gabi.