(Later that day)
Lena
"Good morning my baby" Granny greeted me as I walked out of my bedroom.
"Hey Granny" I smiled, "who were you talking to on the phone? One of your lil boos?"
"Chile please, I was talking to one of my friends."
"That's what they always said Granny" I laughed.
Granny was dressed in her Sunday's Best.
"What time is the service again?"
"9am would you care to join me?" She asked.
Every Sunday Granny asks me about going to church and every Sunday, I always decline.
When I was living in the dorms on my college campus I always made time for God and prayer in general. But it seems like ever since I've been in New York, there's so many things that have my attention.
I just want to be intentional when it comes to the way I spend time with God and how much time I spend with Him as well. I shouldn't just run to Him only when I need clarity or guidance but it should be an everyday thing.
All these parties and clubs and men that I'm coming across are distractions but even if I have to start at square one, I'm willing to do that.
But when it comes to church? I always feel so out of place and uncomfortable.
Not because of the people there but in my mind, I feel like if I've been doing bad for this long why would God want me in His house? It's just a personal thing but I know I'll be back.. one day.
"One day Granny" I told her.
"Don't forget who woke you up this morning" she smiled as she walked past me.
"I hear you" I told her.
"I'll see you around lunchtime" she said.
"Momma and Daddy are taking Rashad and I out for lunch today" I told her.
"I know" she said just before I heard the front door open and close.
My parents were supposed to go back home early this morning but my dad woke me up last night to tell me that they wanted to take us to lunch.
It would be nice if Granny came but she's always on the run these days.
My parents and I haven't been on speaking terms because they won't tell me why they couldn't come to my graduation. Maybe they'll tell me at lunch today.
I put my headphones on and went out for a walk around the neighborhood, with worship music playing in my ears. All I wanted to do was thank Jesus for this day and start off with a good mindset.
My parents could possibly be getting a divorce and if that's not the case then something else is wrong. I can feel it and I don't understand why everyone tries to keep secrets for me. I always find out.
I appreciate the fact that they have my feelings in mind but I'm grown now, it's time to be honest and up front. And it really sucks always being the last person to find something out.
