abnormal tragedy

Chapter 27: late time talks

West. The Elves were leaving. Legolas would leave too, once this quest was finished. The thought had never occurred to Rowan before, and now that it did, it broke her heart. She didn't expect it to. But she didn't want him to leave.

Why was she feeling this way? Legolas had become a dear friend to her, but he was an Elf, and he was bound to leave, and it was her fault that she had never thought of that before. She shouldn't have gotten involved.

''Rowan?'' he called her. ''Yes?''

''Why aren't you sleeping?''

''I do not know,'' Rowan lied, ''I guess I'm thinking about what will await us in Edoras.''

''Thoughts plague you, but I do not think they're of Edoras.''

''Legolas, why can't I lie to you like I can to other people? It's kind of frustrating.''

''What is it then?'' he asked silently, so as to not wake anyone. Aragorn's song had ceased, and he too had lied down to sleep. Legolas was first to stand watch. ''I'm thinking about Elves leaving.'' His brows furrowed. ''Why does that trouble you?''

''Middle Earth won't be the same. The world's changing,'' Rowan said, ''And I'm changing with it.''

''Change is good.''

''Well, I don't want the Elves to leave. I wish you could all stay.''

''But Elves must leave,'' he explained softly, ''To hear you say this warms my heart, but... Were you not the one who feared my kin?'' he teased. ''I never feared you,'' Rowan grumbled. ''It was never fear, and you know it. It was ignorance for the most part. And insecurity, I guess.''

''And now you've taken a liking to us,'' he smiled in amusement. ''Some of you,'' Rowan teased, ''Some.'' He smiled and said nothing. Silence, but sweet sweet silence. ''You know, it's just kind of sad,'' Rowan said, ''I wish I could meet more of your people.''

''You might yet. Not all of us are leaving right away. There is still time for us here.''

''Are the Elves of Imladris not leaving?''

''Yes, they are,'' he nodded, before he understood, ''You worry about your brother.'' Rowan nodded. ''Among other things.''

''It is difficult, for him. His duty is as heavy as a mountain.''

''I think I'm starting to get at least an idea of it all,'' Rowan said, ''I think I'm going to be very sad when you leave.''

The way he looked at her because of what she said almost made her heart burst. It was overwhelming. She could not tell if he was happy or sad or surprised or all of that at the same time. She could never paint the picture of it, even if she tried. All she knew is that it stopped her heart. ''If it will please you to know, I will not be going in quite a while,'' he said, his brows still furrowed high on his forehead, taking both her hands in his, ''If we survive all this, we will still have many years to spend in friendship, mellon nin.''

''Really?'' He nodded with a twitch of his mouth into a small smile. ''That is good to hear.'' Rowan murmured, friends was such a harsh word in this context she thought to herself. ''I love Middle Earth,'' he said, ''And I love the people I've met here.''

''The people you've met here love you too,'' Rowan said with a smile. He smiled to himself, and Rowan thought he radiated joy, because in his presence, her spirits rose significantly. ''Aragorn says I grow easily attached. It is probably true. It has happened even now with the Fellowship. I'd give my life even for the Dwarf, which is something I never thought a possibility,'' he grinned, ''But you most of all. During these past months I've grown to care about you more than I ever intended.''

''I care about you just as much,'' Rowan said, quietly, and his smile radiated even more mirth. I had said it, and only Eru knows how difficult that was for me. To say something like that so directly to anyone was more than an achievement for me. But it was true. And I was beyond touched. I was too moved to say anything else, anything more than that. It was overwhelming that he cared about me so. It was strange too; why would he care? Why have we grown to care? All of us, but the two of us most of all. ''So yes, I guess it is true. I definitely grow easily attached,'' he smiled, ''You are quite the opposite.''

''Yes, I believe I am everything you're not, my friend,'' Rowan chuckled. ''I like that,'' he said, ''It's so strange and unusual and new. I've never met anyone like you before.''

''That's not necessarily a good thing,'' Rowan joked. ''I've been living for three thousand years, and I can with certainty say that you've endured more personal pain in your life than I have in mine,'' he said, ''There is much I can learn from you, much that I lack.'' Three thousand years. I seemed to almost forget that when with him. For a moment he seemed odd again, strange, distant. But only for a moment, before he returned to being her close friend again. Three thousand years. ''Maybe we're better off not knowing some things,'' Rowan said.

''It's strange,'' he insisted, ''I am old, and yet you could learn everything there is about me in possibly a couple of days. But you are so young, and I think I could never get to know you, not in another three thousand years. You mortals seem to carry the entire universe within yourselves.''

He spoke so beautifully. Such beautiful words for something so expendable, irrelevant in the grand scheme of things. The human life. ''We are complicated. It is because we do not have time. We want to do so much, and squeeze it all in a few decades or more.''

''I wish to know you.''

He said it with such honesty and eagerness, that Rowan found herself wanting to reveal every bit of herself to him. If he were to look at her like that for a while longer, she'd show him even the ugliest, scariest parts of her. She wanted to. The way his fingers traced her fingertips ever so lightly made her want to share her entire being with him, and she would not know even where to begin. ''Time,'' Rowan only said. Neither of them had it, and she knew he understood.