What if - MATURE rating

Oxygen - Jay and C part 2

Jay POV

When Khun C asked to go home instead of going back to work I was naturally worried. The only time he has ever missed work was when his wife died. He dismissed my offer to get a doctor and told me to sit down.

He looked serious, which made me feel a little nervous. I wondered if my work performance had slipped recently or if he was still upset that I intervened a little with Gui and Solo.

"Jay, if I ask you something will you give me a completely honest answer?" he asked me. I nodded of course I would be as honest with him as I could. He shook his head and sighed.

"No, I mean completely honest, not holding anything back. You have no fear of losing your job or being sent away. So when I ask you my question I want you to be honest without holding anything back."

My eyes widened in surprise but I slowly nodded. My palms began to sweat as I became very nervous to hear what his question was.

"Good. So my question is this. Last night you were upset, why?" he asked, showing his confusion.

He asked the one question I would have never have expected in a million years.

"Remember you promised to be honest with me," he reminded me and my palms haven't sweated this much in a long time.

I nodded and took a deep breath giving myself a chance to collect my thoughts. It didn't seem like a good idea to be completely honest. What if he hates me? Will he really want me around if he knows I'm gay and totally in love with him?

"Jay, just start talking. I promise you will not get fired or sent away," he said looking frustrated.

"Ok," I started. "Truthfully, I was upset because you had to do that. I imagine you sensed Khun Tan's interest in me and was suspicious as to what his intentions were that night," it wasn't entirely the truth but close enough.

Khun C must have known that I was leaving something out as the look he gave me spoke volumes. I sighed unsure of what he really wanted me to say.

"Khun, I'm not sure what else to tell you," I said.

"Tell me everything," he ordered, leaving no more room for argument.

"What I said before is true, but I guess I was also upset that you touched and nearly kissed me," I finally said.

"So you were upset that a man almost kissed you?" He asked.

I shook my head before bowing my head a little to hide my blush.

"No, I was upset that YOU didn't," I said, avoiding his gaze.

Khun C was silent for a long time but I kept my head down. I don't think I can handle his look of disgust or pity.

"I see," he said finally. "So when I approached you, touched you and almost kissed you, you wanted it to happen. When you realised I only did it to get Tan to leave you alone, you were upset with me?" he asked and again I shook my head.

"I wasn't upset with you. I was upset with myself for being foolish enough to believe that you would want to kiss me."

I had yet to look up at him so I had no idea what he was thinking. Though to be fair even if I did look, he would most likely be wearing his usually stoic face, the one that never gives anything away.

"Jay, look at me," his voice was soft which caught me off guard and I looked up.

His usually intense and cold brown eyes were soft and warm as he reached his hand over to mine. My heart was about to explode out of my chest.