dandelion ➳ 박성훈

𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐑𝐓𝐘 𝐎𝐍𝐄: regret & life lessons

chapter thirty one

꒰☁️꒱

"how are you?" heeseung asked as he took a seat next to the dressed in all black girl, who had her knees close to her chest and her head hidden in her lap. she hummed, meeting his eyes as his heart stung at the sight of her own ones being red and puffy.

"it hurts." she mumbled, gaze fixated on the front, searching for something interesting to busy herself with. yet, after he left, nothing seemed as lively and such to grab her attention.

"I know." he said, pursing his lips as he took a deep breath. it's been two days, the funeral came to an end and people were heading to the house on the very hill. haneul chose to take her time and stay alone for a while.

"never before have I felt this empty, hee. it fucking hurts me so much but I have to stand tall. but how? he was all I had when sunoo was away." she took some time to rethink her words. "well, him, you and jungwon. and jake. but, still─"

"haneul, no need to explain." he said and placed his hand on her back and rubbed a few circles. he felt how her body relaxed under his touch, which satisfied him. she's been looking stiff and as if ready to faint since early in the morning.

"I know how sunghoon held a special place in your heart. he was the source of your desired happiness, and I'm so so happy, that someone achieved this at such a short span of time."

"I have personally been a bad friend to you, and please don't deny that. I tried to take sunoo's role as an older brother, but I miserably failed, most probably because of not being able to see you as my sister...or even as my friend."

"when sunoo asked me to take care of you, I was more than happy, since he trusted me as much as to look after a person so beloved to him." a chuckle. "in fact, I never thought he'd do so."

"but I was scared. what if I failed to protect you? what if I wasn't enough for you as a brother figure? let alone my feelings for you, this thought only made me distant."

"I asked for jungwon to be the one to take care of you and be there, if you need a shoulder to lean on, since you two were inseparable. but stupid him fell for you, and hardly must I say."

"I couldn't blame him, you're one of an angel in human form, haneul." he took a deep breath, seeing as her eyes and attention were now fully fixated on him.

"my feelings wore off as time went by, and that's when jungwon talked to me about his feelings. I won't deny it, but I got pretty jealous at that time, yet I tried to turn this feeling into bliss and happiness, for I swore to myself that I won't let myself fall for you."

"I had to be there for you, stand next to you and help you, just like what I promised to your brother. distancing myself would lead to nothing."

haneul nodded at his words, heeseung clearing his throat as he looked at the very front. "jungwon decided to also distance himself, hoping that all those thoughts and feelings about you were just a phase."

"and that's when park sunghoon came into the frame. jungwon was planning on confessing, but sunghoon ruined it. he knew all too well how he stood no chance in front of him, from the day he was transferred to our school and saw how you and him have already met."

heeseung took her hand on his and rubbed her frozen knuckles. "haneul, I never talked to you about this, only because I was scared of how it would end. jungwon, he─"

"hey." speaking of the devil, heeseung looked over her shoulder and saw the boy walking up to them, still with his black suit on. he assumed that he had just left the park house, after visiting the mother for his condolences.