Our Son: A Love So Deep.

Our Son ( Part 50 )

Chapter 50 

*Mmelokuhle*

I’ve been sitting in this garden since this morning, smoking and thinking. Now I know why my wife loves it here, it’s so peaceful. I brought Lwandle along with me earlier to tell him what’s been happening and shockingly he was cool about it for a six-year-old he is very matured. He told me he knew what was happening and that he understands why we keeping things from him, I couldn’t be any prouder of him yet still hurting on his behalf for going through all this drama at such a young age.

I miss my wife. I miss my best friend. We have been married for a couple of months now but it feels like years and years. We get each other, she’s my heart.

“Stop blaming yourself and drinking like this is not helping also.” My father-in-law says settling down next to me. 
I know he wants answers right now. Answers I don’t have. He wants his daughter and nami I want her back. 

“She will come back.” He continues. Everyone keeps on saying that and I find it hard to believe. I mean who disappears without a trace. That idiot was good and it's driving me nuts that I’m sitting here drinking instead of being out there strangling the life out of him. Ngobese is also still nowhere to be found and my brothers are also failing to help me. This has been the worse time of my life. I feel like a failure because I cannot find her or that idiot. Nothing is going my way and that frustrates the shit out of me. 

“I feel like a failure.” 

“Why?”

“Because I can’t find her.”

“You will find her.” He says. He has been saying that ever since she went missing and I’m finding it very strange that he is not even blaming me for his daughter’s disappearances instead he has faith. 

“Nini baba?” I ask. He turns to look at me.

“You know before you met my sunshine that time she was grieving, she was miserable and she pretended she was fine for the world. I know she was drinking every year and waking up the next day with no evidence that she was drinking like a fish. She would also pretend like everything was fine smiling and making sure everyone was fine but she’s my daughter and I could see right through her.” He says sadly and I know what exactly he is talking about as I have seen it in my own eyes. She is very strong and I’m praying she is holding up for me.

“She’s been very happy since she met you. I know I don’t say this a lot but thank you. Thank you for loving my daughter and claiming my grandson as your own.”

“Baba Lwandlelwethu is mine. He is my son and I just want everyone to please stop saying that he isn’t.” 

“Whoa! Stop. I’m not saying he is not yours. There’s no need to be defensive about it. I know he is yours and no one is doubting that.” Sigh.

“I’m sorry,” I say.

I just get mad when they say he isn’t mine. If my ancestors recognize him as their own why is it so damn hard for people to agree with that? That fucker was just a sperm donor nothing else.

After what almost turned to be a disagreement between us we remain quiet.

“I know you are trying so hard to keep it together for everyone and mostly keeping your morals in check.” I look at him.

“I know what your brothers have been asking you to do. Mmelokuhle I would kill for my family without any hesitation and if that makes me a criminal so be it.” 
I stare at him. What is he trying to say to me?

“Baba?”

“Ungizwile. Right now anything goes if we want her home soon.” He stands up and leaves me with my thoughts.
Did he just give me the approval to go back to my old ways? No ways! If I go back there is no turning back.