Time: 3:15 am.
Setting: Tomlinson Residence.
Ashton: (plops down between Aleisha and Luke, obviously tipsy) So...are you two a thing or something? (snorts) 'Thing or something'. (loudly) Redundancy!
Luke: (annoyed) Is that even a word?
Ashton: (giggles) Yes! It means repetitive! Constantly repeating! A pattern of sorts! (pauses, scrunched nose) I think. I've always had a deep hatred for vocabulary and jargon, so I may be wrong.
Aleisha: (laughs, tipsy) Boy, you are something else.
Ashton: (winks, flirty) Wouldn't you like to find out?
Luke: Ugh. I can't watch this. Horrible flirting. Horrible, horrible.
Ashton: (cheeky) Jealous it ain't you, sweetheart? (suggestive) I could always go more than one round, y'know? Or maybe three? I work out. (flexes)
Aleisha: (throws head back in laughter) Oh my god! I can't take this!
Luke: (mortified) Horrible. Seriously, horrible!
Ashton: (giggles) So, I take it that you're not dating each other?
Aleisha: (snorts, popping the p) Nope. Blondie over there literally turns green when lady parts are presented to him.
Luke: (makes a face) Ew, Ally.
Aleisha: (ignores Luke) It's true. I've seen him throw up over straight porn.
Luke: (blushes) That was one time!
Ashton: So he likes laddy parts?
Aleisha: (nods) He likes laddy parts. Not lady parts.
Ashton: (giggles, to Aleisha) I like lady parts! Would you like to show me your lady parts?
Calum: (walks by, catches end of the conversation) O-kay, horn dog. (pulls Ashton by the wrist) Time to go. (to Aleisha) Sorry. He's a horny drunk but he doesn't mean anything by it.
Ashton: (loudly) Lies! I like doing the sex things!
Aleisha: It's alright. He's adorable.
Luke: (under his breath) You mean 'annoying'.
Ashton: (ignores him, to Aleisha) You won't be thinking that when I'm done with your lady parts.
Calum: (rolls eyes, pulling Ashton to his feet) Definitely time to go home. C'mon, Romeo.
Ashton: (pouts, pulling hands away) I don't want to be Romeo! You be Romeo! I'll be Marius! He doesn't die in the end!
Aleisha: (cuts in) I'd rather not be Juliet, either.
Ashton: (points to Aleisha) See?! (rambling) Why must you always cockblock? You're, like, the master of cocking the block - or the other way around. Hah. 'Cock'. That's a rooster.
Calum: (exasperated) And you're an idiot. Let's go, Ash.
Luke: (stands up) We should be leaving, too. (helps Aleisha up) Got a shift at nine.
Ashton: (turns and hugs Luke, shocking the taller boy) Okey! Goodnight, Lucas! (winks at Aleisha) Night, Ally! Dream of me!
Calum: The only dream she'll have of you is one of the both of you picking roses and dandelions.
Ashton: (lets go of Luke, turns to Calum) Those grow in two entirely different climates so that dream would be botanically incorrect.
Calum: Enough. Say goodbye, Ash.
Ashton: (loudly) Laters, suckas! (runs out the door to the driveway)
Luke: (shocked) He's nuts.
Calum: Only when he's drunk. (sighs) You two take care. See you at work, Luke.
Luke: (quietly) Okay. Whatever. Bye.
QOTD: What do you think of drunk Ashton?
YOU ARE READING
Punks Meet Flower Crowns >> Lashton AU ✔️
Fanfiction[COMPLETED] "Because I'm dumb. I'm scared. I'm a coward. I can't come to terms with anything. I love him but I'm not capable of loving him. Does that make sense?" Luke is the pessimistic new waiter with piercings, tattoos and a broken heart. Ashton...
