Punks Meet Flower Crowns >> Lashton AU ✔️

91. ~ Coward

Chapter is dedicated to @hitmepuberty for making the wonderful cover for this story! I love it sooooo much!! *screams and points at cover* Look how talented you are!! You are so wonderful!! *dies of feels* <3 <3 <3 <3

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Time: 6:35 pm.

Setting: Parking Lot.

Alex: (opens passenger door, buckles seat belt, looks over to Ashton who is sitting in the driver's seat) You should have come. Seen him off.

Ashton: (quietly) I wouldn't have known what to say.

Alex: You wouldn't have had to say anything. You could have punched him and he'd still be happy to see you.

Ashton: (ignores Alex's statement) Was he okey? How was he? How did he look?

Alex: (honest) Tired. He looked really tired, Ashton.

Ashton: Did he even ask about me?

Alex: (smiles) He asked me to keep an eye on you. (serious) He's worried. And I know what he did was wrong but it wasn't completely unjustified.

Ashton: (sharp) He went back to him. Seven months of trying to move on and the bastard just waltzes in and completely breaks him in like he's a freaking horse.

Alex: (quiet, quirks his lip) How are you feeling? Be honest with me..

Ashton: (staring out the window, sniffles) Hurt, betrayed. I want to kill him. I want to strangle his neck until it snaps...(trails off, weaker) But I also just wish things could go back to the way they were before all of this.

Alex: (matter-of-fact) You mean, before he told you.

Ashton: You're not supposed to be judging.

Alex: I thought that's what you needed but it turns out you need the truth more. (firm) And the truth is that you have no right to act this way. You totally freaked, Ashton. Luke really fucking cares and you told him you couldn't be with him like that. He's been so far up your ass for the last how many months and you were either blissfully oblivious of painfully ignorant. Rejecting him was like...the final straw breaking. He wanted to forget. Maybe he didn't seek Troye out but he's damn well justified in why he did what he did.

Ashton: (dry sob) You don't get it. I'm-

Alex: (irritated) You're straight. Yeah, yeah. We all get it. (lightly) But even a straight man can fall for another guy. They can but that doesn't mean that it's all that easy. (quietly) I'm speaking from experience. Jack still has to keep himself from pulling away when I kiss him sometimes. He's still not entirely comfortable with holding my hand in public or telling people we're dating. (fond) But I know he loves me. The same way I know you love Luke. (eyebrows furrow) You're just too scared to admit it.

Ashton: (snapping) And what if I am? Am I not completely justified to feel that, as well? I've never liked another man, Alex. Not like that. I can't.

Alex: (sits straight, disappointed) You're a damn piece of work.

Ashton: He deserves someone who can love him the way he wants to be loved. He doesn't deserve me.

Alex: (distant) You're right. Luke definitely doesn't deserve a coward.

QOTD: Why is Ashton so afraid to admit how he feels? What would push him to realize his feelings?