This Is (Unfortunately)ME

6/17/2021

He was taken and I knew that.

I almost couldn't help it though. I craved the attention I had to admit it.

It didn't hurt that he wasn't going after me as much as the other men around us. I was used to sexual attention from the male race, so now it didn't even remotely impress me when men thought that telling me my ass was fat was a way into my pants.

I just accept the compliment and turn my head. I'm not uncomfortable from the states of the rude comments because I was hard body, but I didn't know anymore.

Maybe it was because he had a woman and a kid at home. I didn't want anything serious and neither did he. His family ensured that I wouldn't have to bare any feelings or have any responsibility. I liked to be alone and him never wanting to be with me through a full night kept it that way. We could spend the hours needed to please our bodies together but before I could get annoyed at the intrusion his girl would be calling his phone asking about where he was. He would leave without a goodbye. Not that I ever said goodbye either.

Maybe I liked it because I hated him before. Well I wouldn't say hated...just strongly disliked. He gave me snake vibes. Very shiesty. While also reminding me of a lot of men I knew. He felt familiar in a bad way, but that didn't keep me from him. We were honest with each other to a certain extent. We said what we felt was appropriate at the time and nothing else.

Does he talk more with me like I talk less with him?

Could our relationship be platonic while also being sexual? I think so.

I wasn't going to think ok it for too long. I didn't want to psych myself out of having fun, even if it was with a committed man that I would never actually be with. I wasn't the one that was going to get hurt.

Now that I think of it...maybe I was right to think he was a snake. He has a family but still found himself fondling me three days out of the five day work week.

My intuition never fails I guess.