Blue Flame (Completed)

Chapter 32

Chapter 32

Hindi ako nahuli ng gabing iyon, at dahil doon ay lumakas lang ang loob kong umalis ng ganoong oras.

Hindi lang isa o dalawang beses naulit ang pagtakas ko ng gabi para sumama kina Sherisse at mag-club, hindi ko namalayang nakasanayan ko na iyon ng paunti-unti, and Calvin has always been with me. Kahit nang nagsimula na ang pasukan ay hindi namin naitigil ang pag-alis para mag-night out, we often do it on Fridays, and it's safer for me on those days, kung kailan alam kong abala rin si Kuya at Ice sa trabaho.

"Coleen, your dress is too short." Calvin commented as he covers me from behind because I've been busy dancing.

Nilingon ko siya, "Hindi naman ah? Umiikli lang kasi sumasayaw ako.." Sabi ko bago hinila pababa ang champagne colored bandeau dress.

He sighed. Humarap ako sa kaniya at ngumiti, I even held both of his hands. "Hindi naman ako mababastos kasi nandiyan ka.." I smiled at him sweetly.

Sumulpot bigla si Sherisse sa tabi ko na may dalang beer, she gave it to me and grinned.

"Thanks!" I said before drinking.

Calvin watched me. Nang nakainom ako ay inoffer ko rin sa kaniya ang beer, he shook his head though.

"That's your third beer, Col.." he sighed.

I giggled, "Really?" Tinignan ko ang bote, "Hindi pa naman ako nahihilo."

"Hihintayin pa ba nating mahilo ka bago ka tumigil?" Masungit na tanong nito bago inagaw sa akin ang beer.

I chuckled, "Uh huh! You're so grumpy nowadays, what's your problem?"

He sighed once more, "I just can't get used to this side of you. Do you have a problem? You can tell me.."

I stared at him and smiled. This is not the first time he asked me but until now, I still can't open up. I feel like something within me got numbed lately, pakiramdam ko habang tumatagal ay namamanhid ako, pakiramdam ko hindi ako normal, pakiramdam ko hindi ako makaramdam.

I tried so hard to divert my attention by clubbing and going out with my friends, but I feel like I am changing too. I feel like I'm losing myself, I feel like I'm not on the right person, I feel like I'm not on the right place.

I looked at Calvin and sighed. He was with me for months and I was trying so hard to fall for him, but I don't feel anything towards him, I can't feel anything towards him. It's frustrating me so bad that I want to get drunk.

At wala akong mapagsabihan ng mga problema ko. Ate Nica left for her OJT in Seoul a month ago. My brother has gotten crazier about work, he was always busy I couldn't even eat a meal with him. I feel like I lost everything at hindi ko alam kung bakit sa dami ng taong nakapalibot sa akin ay pakiramdam ko mag-isa pa rin ako.

"I'm tired.." Iyon ang lagi kong sinasabi kapag tinatanong ako kung ayos lang ako.

"Then I'll bring you home,"

Tumango ako at hindi na nagsalita pa. Hinawakan niya ang kamay ko at hinila na ako paalis sa club na iyon.

Tahimik akong sumakay sa sasakyan niya. Bumagsak ang lahat ng energy ko sa katawan at wala akong ibang maramdaman kung hindi pagod. And I always feel this way, no matter how hard I try to enjoy, at the end of day I still feel so tired and exhausted.

I was silent the whole drive. I can feel Calvin glancing at me from time to time but I can't look at him and fake a smile like the usual. Tuwing tinatanong niya ako kung ayos lang ako, pakiramdam ko bumabalik ako sa reyalidad na hindi.