Let me take you on a trip~ (Enmu X Reader)

12

At first I continued to lie motionlessly, but then a sharp surge of energy pierced through my body. I tried to push him away, but I just ended up struggling. I didn't want to be close to him, but he held me extremely tightly, not giving me the right to escape his embrace. When I ran out of strength, I just hung on him, as if he was my only incomprehensible support.

...

"Calm now..?"

...

"Now please let me explain. Daki is one of the upper ranked demons, I met her and the rest of the upper kizuki a while ago before I took you here. She seemed to act weird around me, she would ask me personal questions and would randomly touch me sometimes. I told her about you, but instead she threatened to harm you if I didn't compliment her, she made it seem like a joke, but I couldn't be entirely sure of her further actions. She's way stronger than me so I didn't really have a choice. Yes, this sounds extremely stupid, but it really is true. If you think that this is a weak excuse - sure. But I promise you it isn't."

...

We sat in the same position for a couple of seconds, until he gently hugged me, quietly whispering apologies in my ear. He cupped my face and glared into my eyes, his gaze seemed so sorrowful, he wanted to kiss me, but I refused to face him. I turned away and stared into the polished wooden wall. He wanted me to look at him. He moved his face closer and closer, I could see it from the corner of my eyes. 

He kept closing the distance between our faces, I could feel him breathing. His lips gently pressed against my cheek, and remained on my face for a while, but I pretended like his presence was nonexistent. Once he moved his face away, he saw me still staring into nothing, not daring to face him at all. He just sat closer to me. He placed his slightly trembling hand on my knee, but I moved my legs further away from him, making his hand slip off. My actions surely hurt him, but I didn't really care at this point.

He tried his best to touch, hug or kiss me, but I simply didn't allow him to do so, without saying anything, and continuing to stare at the same point. He tried one last time to touch me. He reached his hand out and was about to place it on my shoulder, but I gently knocked it away from me, and he let out a barely noticeable gasp. He quietened down and remained silent for a few minutes, until he forcefully locked me in an embrace.

...

"Please just forgive me."

When I tried to move his hands away, he gripped onto me tighter.

...

"Please."

...

"Okay." I finally spoke.

...

"Huh..? So you do..? Is everything okay now..? Though it's clearly not but..."

I said nothing.

"Alright then." He said emotionlessly.

He tried to kiss me one more time. He very gently kissed my cheeks, but then he gradually moved up to my lips, and he finally managed to kiss me. I didn't do it back, I just let him do what ever he wanted to me. My eyes remained open this entire time, I kept thinking about what he has told me. I tried to take his words seriously, because I truly loved and trusted him, though I'm doubting I still want to do so. But without Enmu I would have been killed a long time ago, I would be nothing. Though my past still haunts me, so I wouldn't mind dying after all. 

When Enmu pulled away, he glared into my empty eyes. He could see that I was still not over it. His hand brushed against mine, and he gently took it, grasping it with his fingers. He held it tight, expecting me to do the same, but my hand remained relaxed. I got used to his touch, but I had no intentions on touching him in return. He got up and stood right in front of me, making me look at him.

...

"Listen."

...

"I don't plan on letting you go. You are mine, and I only love you. I can see that you still hadn't gotten over it. Please forgive me whenever you feel like you need to. You're very dear to me, and I don't want to lose you." He said as he pressed my exhausted body close to him. 

...

"Enmu."

...

"I already told you. You are forgiven."

"But-"

"Just stop apologising."

...

"You have no idea what I went through. I passed out and I saw two nightmares in a row, and let me tell you, they were painful. I don't think you know that feeling when your entire ribcage feels like it's being crushed and your lungs are on the verge of an explosion. You don't know how it feels. Imagine me naming some other man's name while having sex. How would you feel."

"Darling I-"

"Yeah exactly. You'd hate it. More or less, you would harm me."

"No I wo-"

"Yes you would. I know it. And I wanted to do so as well. I wanted you to feel my pain, but if you would, you'd be dead by now, because I would end up completely destroying you. That's how terrible it was. And if you think-"

He didn't let me finish and forcibly pulled me into a kiss. 

"Just what do you think you're doi-" I got cut off again as I pushed him away, but he immediately grabbed my hands and held them above my head, not letting me escape. 

...

"I know you liked that." He said as he pulled away and flashed a faint smirk at me.

...

"Literally perish." I replied, pushing him away for good.

I sat down and turned my back to him. I didn't care about his feelings at the moment. I really wasn't feeling up to it right now. As the train got closer to our destination, we silently continued to sit and wait for each other to calm down. I felt my heart ache as our compartment became quiet. This fight has really impacted my health today. Everything has gotten too far.