The River of Truth

Confusion and Consciousness

"Tahimik ka yata?"

Napatingin si Tanya sa dingding kung saan nakatingin si Cindy. Nakakabit doon ang picture ni Cindy na pinunit niya noon sa isang magazine.

"Is that me?"

Tanya smiled sweetly. Hindi niya akalaing makakasama niya ang iniidolo niya noon. "Oo, idol kasi kita."

Cindy's cheeks warmed. She looked down at the floor.

Nasa loob sila ng kuwarto nina Tanya at Binong. Iisa lang ang kanilang silid. Ang kalahating parte ay ginawang palagyanan ng mga gamit, samantalang ang kalahati ang tinutulugan ni Tanya at ni Binong. Sa sala naman ang tulugan ng kanilang ina.

"Tara, mag-umpisa na tayo."

Tanya prepared their pens and papers. Binuklat niya ang kanilang libro para makakuha sila ng mga ideya sa gagawing project.

"Tanya . . ." Cindy smiled shyly. "H-hindi ko alam ang gagawin. I'm not good at academics." Cindy's mouth remained open. She didn't expect the sudden honesty that came from her mouth.

"Okay lang 'yan. Hindi rin ako matalino, pero masipag akong mag-aral. May goal kasi ako."

"Goal?" Kumunot ang noo ni Cindy. "Do you want to be an honor student?"

Tanya laughed smoothly. "Hindi naman. Hindi importante sa akin ang award. Gusto kong ma-maintain ang scholarship ko. Scholar ako sa school n'yo kasi wala naman kaming pera para makapag-aral ako, pero bukod do'n, nagsisipag akong mag-aral para marami akong matutunan at makatulong ako kina Inay at Binong balang araw."

Cindy fell silent. For the first time, she was moved by words. Tanya's tender grin broke her heart's defenses. She believed it to be painful, but it's not. . . it's peaceful. Her heart was peacefully comforted by those words.

"Where's your father?" Cindy managed to control her voice.

"Patay na siya." Napabuntong-hininga si Tanya. Hanggang ngayon ay kumikirot pa rin ang dibdib niya sa tuwing naaalala ang ama.

"Sorry." It's the first time that Cindy felt sympathy to someone. She was surprised by the sudden change of her thoughts.

Tanya smiled warmly. 'Mabait naman pala siya,' she thought.

"Okay lang. Namatay siya five years ago dahil sa Diabetes."

Cindy nodded. "Why are you so kind to me?"

Napanganga si Tanya sa tanong ni Cindy. "Bakit, ayaw mo ba?" Umiwas ng tingin si Tanya. Hindi niya alam ang isasagot niya. She was caught off-guard. Sa classroom nila, alam niyang walang may gustong makipag-usap kay Cindy.

"I'm just curious." Bumalik na naman ang masungit na tono ng boses ni Cindy. She folded her arms in her chest.

Tanya smiled like a rainbow showing all its colors.

"Libre lang ang kabaitan, kahit sino ay dapat nating bigyan."

🤥

"Sa inyong tatlo, si Anwar ang sa tingin kong mababagsak sa tatlong subjects."

"Ano?" Anwar's tone sounded alarmed. "Sir Earl, wala na ba talaga kayong magagawa?"

"Bakit, ako ba ang estudyante?" Earl said with empty gaze.

Tumawa naman nang kaunti sina Seth at Cindy.

Nasa VIP room sila dahil oras ng tanghalian. Noong nakaraang linggo pa kinukulit ni Anwar si Earl.

"You know, Anwar, ang dali lang ng gagawin mo. Mag-aaral ka lang and be a good student. 'Yung iba, kailangan pa nilang pagsabayin ang pagtatrabaho at pag-aaral."

"Why? Kasalanan ko bang mahirap sila at mayaman ako?"

Earl's forehead furrowed. "Now I understand why your grades are failing. Iniintindi mo ba ang sinabi ko?" His voice had an annoyed edge.

Anwar lowered his head. "I'm sorry, sir."

Napanganga sina Seth at Cindy. Nanlaki naman ang mga mata ni Anwar at napahawak sa kaniyang bibig.

It was unusual for Anwar to apologize.

"Makakabawi ka pa. I can only give advices and reviewers. I'm not a magician o kahit na may powers ako ay hindi ko patataasin ang grades mo. Grades are actually useless if you don't understand your lessons."

Earl stood up and walked towards the door. Lumingon muna siya kay Anwar bago nagsalita.

"I appreciate your apology."

🤥

"Sir, can I talk to you?"

Napatigil si Earl sa sinusulat niya sa kaniyang table.

"Yes, come in."

Umupo si Cindy sa upuan sa harapan ni Earl.

"Sir, kailangan ko ng taong makikinig sa 'kin."

Natahimik siya. Napapansin din niya ang madalas na pagiging tulala ng dalaga.

Earl studied her intently. "What is it?"

"I think . . . I'm losing myself."

For a moment, he looked confused. 'Maybe she's having teen struggle,' he thought.

She inhaled deeply. "These past few days, I lost control about my thoughts."

Tumango si Earl. Ito ang kauna-unahang pag-uusap nila tungkol sa ganitong bagay. Aminado siyang nasasaktan siya na makitang may pinagdaraanan si Cindy.

"You're in your teenage years, and there are lots of teen concerns, therefore I guess you're having teen troubles. P'wede mong sabihin sa akin ang nararamdaman mo. It is normal for teenagers to be moody sometimes, but if you think you can't handle it, I'm always here to listen."

Napailing-iling ang ulo ni Cindy.

"I don't know. I'm so confused to the point that I can't explain it anymore." Her eyes were filling with tears and she didn't want him to see it.

Hindi ito nakalampas sa mga mata ni Earl. Ngayon lang niya nakitang nagkaganito si Cindy. Nakaramdam siya ng kirot sa dibdib niya.

"Ano'ng nakapag-trigger sa 'yo?"

Cindy looked at him with a baffled face. "I don't know."

Huminga nang malalim si Earl. Kahit masasama ang ugali ng tatlo ay nakararamdam pa rin siya ng awa para sa kanila.

"Alam mo, Cindy, marami talagang challenges sa transition ng childhood to adulthood. Ito 'yong mga panahong hinuhubog kayo as an individual. You face growing pressure to be responsible. Sometimes, nalilito na rin kayo kung paano n'yo iha-handle ang expectations ng parents n'yo while struggling with mood swings and issues with other teens. Hindi madali, but you have to keep in mind that you need to face those battles. Kailangang maging matatag ka to face adulthood. Do you want to talk about personal issues? Is there something that is bothering you?"

Napatingin si Cindy sa mga mata ni Earl. "Siguro nga, baka mood swings ko lang ito, sir. Wala namang problema, baka nalilito lang ako."

Tumayo na si Cindy, ngunit napatigil siya sa pintuan nang magsalita si Earl.

"You can tell me everything, Cindy. You're like a daughter to me."

Dahan-dahang napatingin si Cindy kay Earl. She smiled genuinely.

"Okay, sir."

^•^