Torn between

Chapter 13

* Lonnie's p.o.v*

After my little incounter with Jane I head outside and see Jay by the balcony looking at the view. I sigh and go stand next to him.

" This view is amazing." I say looking at the gorgeous view in front of me.

Jay turns and looks at me shocked before turning back and nodding.

" So this is where you been all morning." I ask him.

" Yeah, I just needed some air. I wanted to think in peace." He says turning to me. I look at him.

" We're we part of the things you were thinking about." I ask referring to our relationship.

" Yeah amongst other things." He exclaimed.

" Well what have you thinking about us exactly." I questioned curious on what his thoughts were.

" Are you sure you want do this now." He asked me.

" Yes. I don't want to fight I just want to talk." I explained.

" Fine." He replied.

We head to the lounge on the other side of balcony and sit facing each other.

" What do you want to talk about." He asked.

" I want to talk about our relationship. But first I want to ask you something." I say.

" What do you wanna ask." He asked me.

" Do you still love me." I say getting straight to the point.

" What." He said shocked at my question.

" I asked if you still love me." I repeat.

" Of course I love you more than you know." He says coming closer and taking my hands in his.

" But it doesn't that way. Jay our relationship is dying. Infact it's been dying and I'm at the point right now where I don't know what to do anymore." I say as I can feel my voice break and tears well up in my eyes 

" Jay I love you as well with every inch of me, but since I got back from China I've felt like you don't want to be in this relationship anymore, that you don't want to be with me. Because I look at you and me then I look at you and Jane and I see your much happier with her than you've ever been with me." I say with tears falling on my face.

Jay grabs my face in-between his hands and says." Hey, hey, hey I love you ok and yeah I know our relationship hasn't been the best but I'm happy with you no matter what because I love you and only you. Jane is like a little sister to me nothing, and I repeat nothing is going on between Jane and I and nothing ever will because your the one I want to be with." He rambled wiping my tears.

" But I've been keeping things from you why would you want to be with me after all that." I say crying.

" Because I know whatever your keeping from me and the others is for a good reason and I'm willing to wait for you to tell me what's going on when your ready." He says and I can see his eyes become glassy.

" Jay are you crying." I asked as I see a tear roll down his face.

He shakes his head and I pull him in a tight embrace as he pulls me onto his lap he tightens his grip around me as he says.

" Don't leave me Lonnie. Please I need you and I can't live without you." 

" I love you Jay and I won't leave you ever because I need you too and I can't live without you." I say crying as I pull back.

Jay and I look at each other and we laugh wiping each other's tears away. We smile and lean in before we kiss. And this kiss was different from all our other kisses this one was filled with lots of emotion and passion. And after a while we pull apart for air.

" I love you." We both say panting giving each other a hug.

" Come on the others are probably waiting for us. Let's go." He says standing with me still on his lap.

" Jay put me down." I say with a giggle at the end.

"Nope." He says giving me a peck on the lips and swinging me over onto his back giving me a piggyback ride as I wrap my arms around his neck and leg's around his waist. I lean on his shoulder as he walks into the house as both of us have smiles on our faces.