Sarah's Story

Chemo Talk

The next two weeks pass slowly. Sarah spends them regaining her strength. The day that Tina comes by to remove the IV, as she is finally done with the antibiotics, is a happy one. Her surgical site heals nicely but the scar is horrible. The skin there feels rubbery, like it is not part of her. Uncle Eric and Tina both assure her it can be completely covered by reconstruction surgery. She vows to let no one non-medical see it.

She also catches up on some of her school work. She, Josiah and, Beth have study sessions every evening and she does a lot on her own each day. She is slowly catching up.

Which is good because she is going to start chemotherapy. She will lose her strength again. She may not be able to study. Despite this, she is ready to get started, to make sure this stupid cancer is gone. She wants a future with Josiah.

He has taken a leave from work to be with her. She had tried to talk him out of it but is unable to. It secretly pleases her. He is her other half. She feels complete with him.

They are going to see Dr. Saunders today. He will give them the' chemo talk'. What they will be doing. What to expect. The does and don'ts of the chemo floor.

"So," she thinks to herself, "what does one wear to discuss chemotherapy?" She settles on her standard jeans and t-shirt. She isn't able to wear a bra yet. Something else to look forward too, wearing a bra. With a falsy on one side. "Great."  She got dressed, braided her hair back in a loose braid and places on a bit of make-up. She then pinned the pink ribbon on her shirt. Beth had brought some for all in their group and her daddy. They all wore them, even the guys.

She has always known her group was special, that they had a bond that is as strong as iron . She now knows it is also as pure as gold, that she can get through this with her circle of friends.

Her daddy has went back to work part time. She is never alone. Someone is always with her. They have a schedule made up for her upcoming treatments too to give Josiah and her daddy a break.

She never imagined being as in love and loved as she is with Josiah. He is everything she has ever looked for and more. He is the one who held her hair back when  the antibiotics made her sick,the one who carried her upstairs most nights when she fell asleep watching TV and, the one who makes her feel whole when she feels less then a woman. He is the one that will be there to support her and her daddy today. And that means more then anything.

"We would like you to think of chemo not as poison, but as an army. An army that is going to destroy the cancer."

"Yes, but it also kills healthy cells, doesn't it?" Sarah asks him.

"Yes Sarah. But in every war there are casualties. I wish that we could completely target just the bad cells but we aren't quite there yet." She knows he is right but hates what is about to happen to her body. That this army is about to invite, killing everything in it's path bad and good. That her hair will fall out, that she will be sick and weak, that she will be open up to a ton of opportunistic diseases and, that the shot they will give her to boast up her immune system is going to make her almost as sick as the chemo.

But worse then all those things is what the whole thing will do to her daddy. That what is really killing her.

"I know this is a lot to take in."

"Yes, but it is what we expected. I just wish we could be assured that all this is going to work." James says.

"I don't give guarantees. I do promise to do fight this as long and as hard as Sarah does using every tool at my disposal."

"That has to be good enough."

"Okay Sarah. We have some rules on the chemo floor. Our patients can't handle strong odors. So, no perfume or cologne. No scented lotion. Also no strong food odors. We know that eating a little something during treatment can help so peanut butter or cheese crackers are acceptable. Water but no juice. It also can make you cold so a sweater or something helps.

Treatment will last two hours. We will do them every weekday at nine am for two weeks. The next week off. On Thursday, after treatment, you will get the immune boasting shot. We will do six weeks of treatment. On the third week, we will do blood tests to check your levels."

She leans her head against Josiah's chest, spent. He tightens his arm around her. Her daddy sits on the other side, holding tight to her hand. "Okay, game on. I am prepared as I can be for this fight."

"So are we." Josiah adds.

"Good. We start the battle at nine am tomorrow."

They walk out of his office, stunned. "Are you sure  you don't want out of this?" She asks Josiah.

"Not ever. Besides, it is to late. I am to far in love with you. I could no more walk away from you now then I could walk away from myself." He assures her.

"Looks like you are stuck with us both." James teases

"Good as I wouldn't have it any other way." They head home to rest  up for tomorrow.