pov- imagines

TIRED EYES- B. BARNES

pairings: bucky barnes x reader, mentions of shuri
warnings: mentions of cryo
about: title request- tired eyes

"...in other news, a baby penguin was born at the national zoo yesterday, and the subway goats that i told you about were captured, so that's good for everyone really," you laugh, skimming through the rest of the words printed on the newspaper you're holding. the fingers holding it begin to rub at the edges subconsciously, pressing indents into the typed letters while you flip the page once you're satisfied that the contents of that one were already summarized. "okay, these are comics and crosswords, so i'll wait for you on these," you say, eyes catching on the colored squares, chuckling at the images of snoopy. "i think you'll like snoopy. you probably haven't gotten to read much on him since he was created in the fifties, so i'll save all the snoopy bits for you if you'd like."

no answer, which you were expecting, but the longing for his voice grows either way, exhaling softly and closing the newspaper you were reading from, bold letters forming the date. you look at the books piled next to your chair, reminding yourself to replace the ones you've already read. "so, shuri says she's close to figuring this out. she thinks you'll be out of cryo this month, so that's exciting!"

your smile struggles to stay as a thick silence falls on you and you swallow, looking down at your lap, "um, i-" you clear your throat, forcing your eyes to meet the frozen man. "i don't know if you can even hear me," you admit, a small watery laugh falling from your lips. "i can't really bring myself to ask shuri, because i really hope you can and i don't know how i'll do if i find out you can't. i hope you know how much i love you, and-" you sniffle, squeezing your eyes shut, "and how much i miss you. and how much i know you'll be okay."

you smile tearfully, wiping away tears that escape your eyes, watching them soak your sleeve. you run your finger over the fabric, bringing it up to your nose and shutting your eyes shut when you realize the red henley doesn't smell like bucky anymore. although the rational part of your mind reminds you it's been two years and you've been wearing the piece of clothing for most of it. the rest of his clothes also lack his smell, worn so much by you that your perfume seems embedded with the cotton.

"you know how much i miss your eyes?" you ask suddenly, the image of them engraved in the caves of your happiest memories. "you have such pretty eyes- i know i tell you that a lot, but it's true." echoes of the azure colors lucky enough to reside in bucky's irises flood the darkness of your closed eyelids. "they were the first thing i noticed when i met you," you sniffle, "so blue. it looked like they were glowing in the sun. i completely forgot about the plums i accidentally stole from you."

"do you remember that?" you question, opening your eyes to see the same image from last time. "i just gave you the plums and stuttered like an idiot. then, when i tried to leave because i was so mortified, you stopped me. i got a really good look at you that time. so handsome," you pause. "but so tired."

his image is vivid in your mind, clear enough to combat the actual photographs of him that lay everywhere in your apartment. "you looked so tired, bucky," you admit, "and i didn't even know what happened yet- what you had gone through- and all i wanted to do from that point was kiss all that pain away. let you rest until the exhaustion wasn't clouding the color of your eyes." your fingers twitch, itching to tangle with his own- desperate to hold him after so long.

physical touch was something bucky struggled with when you both met. his skin was unused to gentle touches, always expecting the worst when your fingertips came in contact with any of him; you showed him gentle touches, tender fingers dragging on his jaw in the morning, careful kisses pressed to his nose to wake him up.

"let me do that when you're out of there, yeah?" you request, playing with your hands to distract from their want to hold his. "you deserve to just... be, bucky. you deserve to be happy, and i swear i'll make sure it's the only thing you'll ever feel again." you go silent, picking apart your tangled thoughts and attempting to make sentences of them.

"y/n."

it takes you a while to notice the voice, its echo reaching you, prying your attention away from bucky. "shuri," you realize, mouth moving faster than your brain as it falls behind to realize what exactly shuri might be doing here. "it's ready- he can come out today."

your eyebrows furrow, the words foggy as your brain decides to take them in late, examining them for their meaning too many seconds after silence has been hanging in the air, waiting for you to break its delicate thread. "what?" you finally say after a moment, not looking for an answer while you jump from your seat, ignoring the items you'd handpicked as they fall to the floor, clatters ignored while you bounce to shuri, "really? he can- it's really ready?"

shuri nods, beaming smile as the reaction she was hoping for bounds out of you, albeit a bit later than she'd expected. you've turned, eyes on bucky now as your anticipation grows, arms motioning towards him gently, "well, then... please- please," you beg, unable to finish the plead that shuri already knows.

-

your fingernails are in between your teeth from the waiting- a nasty habit bucky had helped you break thanks to his wrapped hands around yours- foot tapping incessantly on the floor beneath you. you have absolute trust in shuri and wakanda's technology, but the worry grows when you stare at the chamber bucky was once in, bright cerulean of his eyes hidden from yours.

every cell of your body is screaming for him, and it might be embarrassing how much you miss him if it were a different situation, a different man with different eyes.

ayo is with him, observing him while the wretched words are said, and every passing second makes your fear grow worse- that he would go back into cryo, that he wouldn't ever touch you again, too afraid he'd hurt you with the same stained hands with which he'd hurt others.

you shut your eyes again and took a deep breath, feeling your lungs expand and focusing on that.

"y/n," he interrupts, the cracked word bringing the air you had been missing for so long, eyes opening as quickly as they could and a sob falling from your throat when you stand. "bucky," you snivel, foot already stepping closer to him before you can instruct it to. you pause for a second to make sure bucky is okay with it, against the will of every voice in your mind and muscle in your body. the man nods, stepping towards you instead and immediately warming you with his embrace. you reciprocate immediately, winding your arms around him while his flesh arm pulls you as close as he can.

"bucky," you weep, pushing your face into the crook of his neck and crying harder when your nose touches his warm skin and the soft strands of his hair. bucky only pulls away for a moment to look at you, gentle thumb brushing away your tears. you cradle his face in your hand, scanning every feature continuously until you reach his eyes and your breath catches at the brilliant color, realizing the dark sheen of exhaustion was gone, his tired eyes were no longer as tired, offering solid possibility that at some point, they wouldn't be at all.