Pinku Cat Cafe [South Park x Reader]

Not In My House

You find yourself in the kitchen of an elementary school cafeteria. You look down at your palms, confused as to why they look smaller than they once did. You furrow your brow and look up, surprised to see a man before you, making lunch for the kids.

He's a tall man, especially to you, with a red shirt and a white apron with the word 'CHEF' written on it. He looks at you and gives you a friendly smile. "Hello, children! How's it goin'?" He asks.

You look around and find yourself to be alone. You guess that this is just the way he speaks. You shrug your shoulders at him. "Alright."

"Why just alright?"

"I don't know where I'm at, and why I'm back to being a kid again," You admit with a slight frown.

"It's simple. When I was alive, this is how all your friends saw me. This is the only way I can speak to you."

"Why do you want to speak to me? And who are you?"

"Everyone calls me Chef around these parts," he answers before going to one of the lone tables and sitting down. He gestures for you to sit across from him. You do so. "You see, I watch over all the boys to this day. They've all grown up so much... and now there's someone new in their lives: you!"

Your eyes soften a little bit. You nod slowly at what he's saying.

"I don't have anything bad to say about you. You're good to 'em and you get along fine. And I can tell that there are a lot of special feelings going on with them. But there's something you have to know before you eventually fall and make a decision."

Decision on what, exactly...?

He clears his throat. "Sometimes you fall in love and you think it feels that way forever. You change your life and didn't know your friends 'cause you think it can't get any better."

"But then love goes away; no matter what, it doesn't stay as strong. And then you're left with nothing, 'cause you're thinking with your dong."

"So watch out for that love bug! It can destroy like a typhoon wind! Just play it cool and don't be a fool... And never let poontang come between you and your friends."

"... Do you get what I'm sayin'?"

"I-I guess?" You stutter.

"Good!" He leans forward and gives you a hearty pat on the shoulder. It's firm, but not to the point of hurting your little 10 year-old body. "You're a good kid, (Y/n). You just need to look out for yourself. I have a feeling that not everything is going to be easy for you."

"Thank you... Chef..."

Your eyes open to your dark room. You rub at one of your eyes, a sigh coming from your lips. Your dreams are getting weirder and weirder. You've heard that if you see certain faces in your dreams, that means you've seen them before. However, you've never seen that face in your life. This sort of thing has to be supernatural. It has to be.

You stretch your arms out and force yourself to get out of bed. You don't know why you suddenly got that dream of the man you never knew. Chef... he said that he knows all the boys. You don't even know if you're for sure that it was him or just a delusion.

"Good morning," Bradley greets you when you get down to the first floor. You smile a bit and give him a wave. You peek at what he's doing, which happens to be cooking a simple breakfast.

"Hey," you say right back to him. You hop onto the counter, watching him work. "How are things with Butters going?"

"Ah, well..." He smiles a bit, handing you a plate filled with food. "We're doing well, I think. But something sort of came up and I'm not sure what to do..."