Pinku Cat Cafe [South Park x Reader]

Headless in a Topless Bar

The senior, upon seeing the monster that is Trent Boyett, drops your item with a shell shocked expression on his face. "You... You're out again?" He stammers. "I thought they locked you up for good this time!"

"I'm out," Trent says simply, bringing himself in front of you. He brings his arm out to guard you, something oddly gentle for a guy like him. "And I have no qualms about givin' you a massive snuggie, a wet willie, an Indian sunburn, a Polish Bike Ride, a Texas Chili Bowl, a charlie horse, second-degree titty twisters, a colossal swirly, head damage, and a noogie again."

You don't even know what most of those things mean, but you don't care to find out. The kid runs away with his proverbial tail between his legs, frightened by the threat. One thing is for certain, you don't want to piss Trent off enough to make him do those things to you as well.

"Nice to see you again, Trent," you greet him, to which he looks at you with a somewhat kind look in his eye. He still looks as tough as ever, with his sleeves ripped off and everything. You don't know what's the appeal of that, but you're not one to judge.

"(Y/n)," he nods at you before bending down and picking up what you bought. He hands it to you. "Those stupid seniors don't know when ta' stop. You'd think they were still sixth graders, y'know."

You take your food back, half smiling at him. "Yeah. Thanks for that. I could have stood up for myself, though. No need to save me."

"I know you're more than capable of handlin' yourself." He puts his hands in his jeans' pockets, looking away with a furrow in his brow. He's quiet for a moment. "... look, I know you an' I sort of got off on the wrong foot at the skatin' rink."

You tilt your head a bit. On the wrong foot? Yeah, he came off a little oddly when it came to the whole karaoke battle, but you don't dislike him for it. "Okay...?"

"So, uh..." A soft redness appears on his cheeks. "... I was wonderin' if... we can be friends?"

Oh? Oh! OH!!!

"Of course we can be friends!" You smile, stepping forward and taking his calloused hands into your own. "I know that you and the boys have a bit of a rough past, but I'd be happy to call you my friend! It'll show everyone that they shouldn't be afraid of you all the time, too!"

"... Yeah." He nods, a bit of a smile on his face. "Thanks, (Y/n)."

~

"W-What do you mean you're going to be friends with Trent Boyett?!" Tweek exclaims, looking as though you've told him you killed his and Craig's guinea pig. Maybe it was a bad thing to tell them as you all walked home together.

"You know what he's capable of, don't you, (Y/n)?" Clyde asks, looking terrified.

"Well, I know that he's capable of massive snuggies, wet willies, Indian sunburns, Polish Bike Rides, Texas Chili Bowls, charlie horses, second-degree titty twisters, colossal swirlies, head damage, and noogies, for starters," you list off of your fingers, taking the situation rather lightly. Sure, the kid has some violent tendencies, but he hasn't done anything to you that would make you fear him!

"D-Do you even know w-what any of those are?" Jimmy asks, to which you shrug.

"I can identify five of those exactly!"

"You need to be careful. I think it's alright to give the guy a second chance and everything, but it's also concerning considering his track record," Token states, ever the logical one of Craig's gang.

"He's violent as fuck. I heard he was even like that in preschool and knew how to light shit on fire since he was three," Craig adds.

"At that point, it's a parenting failure and not a Trent failure," you argue. "Maybe if he had a healthier homelife, he wouldn't be lighting stuff on fire and beating up other kids at age four and five!"