Fate/ Dire Paradox (Jeanne Alter X Male Reader)

Chapter 21

Just a note from me, mister author. I am almost entirely certain that Avengers act as the complete opposite of Rulers and if they are summoned would kill their master. So with that knowledge, I am pretty sure they are able to exist without a Master.

Just something to think about... you know...

Anyway back to our regularly scheduled programming.

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I blankly stare at the ceiling, I don't feel any form of pain. Though my body is heavy as if I had no control over it at all. Is this what being dead feels like? 

I shut my eyes as I take a deep breath, "At least... I get to see the rest of you again. I... didn't make it."

"(Y/N)?" I open my eyes at the sounds of a familiar voice.

"Jeanne?" I say with confusion, trying to lift myself I notice that the very reason I can't feel my body is she practically all over me, "That... why are you calling me by name?"

I stare deeply into her eyes, she looks back in almost complete disbelief, as I open my mouth to say something she silences me by throwing her arms around my neck and with tear-filled eyes pulls me into a kiss.

Her hold on me tightens, feeling her warm body press against mine for a moment I decided - fuck it - and with what little strength I had left, throw my arms around her. Holding her tightly as if this is what I wanted all along.

If I am dead I am really dead... then I am actually fine with this outcome.

Slowly lifting herself off from me, her one hand resting on my chest and holding her other hand against my face as if she needs to convince herself that this is real.

 "I can't believe it," she sniffles, lifting the hand from her face as she wipes the tears with the broad side of her hand, "You fucking bastard, don't make worry like that," I only chuckle as I lift my hand to her face.

She shuts her eyes as she rests her head in my hand, "Aren't you going to say something? Anything?"

I shake my head, "Not now. Everything I have to say right now will probably make you wish that Berserker did kill me," I laugh but instantly replace it with a groan as I realize that I am still in pain.

"Idiot."

She then grabs my hands, interlacing her fingers with mine.

I then furrow my brow at her, "I don't get it... why-"

"Why did it take for you to be beaten to death for me to acknowledge my feelings?"

"That... is surprisingly accurate to what I was going to ask, yeah."

She blushes slightly, "I didn't want to at first, but no matter how many times I pushed and pushed you just kept being nice to me."

"But why?"

"I hate humans. You are all disgusting creatures that deserve to be burned, you and your world have to burn," she rubs her eyes, "It isn't fair. It was never my idea to let you in, I don't understand why or when it became but you just... I started loving the idea of being with you. I couldn't take it anymore but then you were doing what I did... you were starting to push as I was warming up to the idea."

I smile at her, "I didn't want to force you into it."

She then laughs, "I was going to kiss you that night but I was trying so hard to push you away... you just had to make me feel wanted. God, I hate you."

I smile at her, squeezing her hand, "Yeah, I know you do."

She continues, "I was scared for the first time that something might have happened and I wasn't there to stop it. They kept stopping me from escaping - I couldn't do anything without having severely wounding them. Then I saw you... dead... I thought you were."