Fate/ Dire Paradox (Jeanne Alter X Male Reader)

Chapter 32

***   Jalter POV   ***

My eyes shoot open as I quickly lift myself in a panic, breathing heavily I feel the cold sweat sticking to my skin. Surveying the area around me, I relax as everything was as I left it. I rub my eyes only to find that wetness stained both my cheeks and eyes.

Was I crying? I ask as I then try it off with the pillow.

I search for him, realizing that he was where I expected him to be. He was sat near his workstation, the television on as well... probably for the sake of background noise.

I shut my eyes falling back into the bed, grumbling to myself, "Come on Jeanne, when was the last time you had nightmares? Why even have that one?"

Considering everything that had happened, I am subconsciously worrying about what our plan of action will be. It has been worrying me to death and I am only now facing the fact that it is really bothering me.

With a sigh, I lift myself out of the bed. Dragging my feet I yawn loudly, (Y/N) turns around with a wide smile spread across his face that makes me feel a little bit better.

I drop to my knees almost tackling him to the floor with a hug, "Oof," he rubs my back, "Are you okay?"

I shake my head, "No."

"Are you going to-"

"No."

***   Normal POV   ***

I lift myself, she still clinging to me. Still holding her she finally breaks away still facing away from me. Using my hand I pull her head to face me only to realize that her eyes are a bit red.

"Were you... crying?"

"No I wasn't," she then lowers her face into my chest, rubbing her face against my shirt she mutters something under her breath.

Still, rubbing her back, I rest my head against her's, "Are you sure? I haven't seen you like this ever."

She only nods, then taking a deep breath she pulls away from me, "When did you wake up?"

"Five hours ago, I couldn't sleep for long as I was having terrible nightmares-"

"What were they about?" she asks as if everything depended on it.

"Uhh, it was vague. My surroundings were covered in a pitch-black and I could see something in the distance that had a black and red color to it. The form is something I recall reading about in one of our textbooks," I shudder, "It looked like a black spire with a black sun at the top. As if it was reaching for it. Something or someone stood at its base."

"Is there more?"

I nod, "It didn't feel like a normal nightmare. I remember small details that you would usually forget when waking up. It... felt more like a vision than anything else. I was experiencing it happening," just the thought of it sends a shiver down my spine.

She then turns around, I spread my legs for her to drop down between them, leaning against me she states the same, "I had... a nightmare. It was similar to it but instead of already being covered in black... you interacted with the grail using a chant."

"Which one?"

"Hear the words of the impure and unworthy. Open the gates which harbor the power that consumes worlds, heed my words as I assume control of the mantle. Let it flourish, let it consume us all," she continues, "It... you turned into that thing we saw yesterday. The grail spewed some black liquid."

"As expected from a Corrupted Grail," I then pull one of the books, "This is a short extract that describes it happening when you interact with the Grail after you won, though the chant... it is scarily close to what I created."

"What do you mean?"

"Chants work like a mechanism to do something that shouldn't be possible under normal circumstances. As we have for reality marbles and such. I created one to interact with the grail but certain keywords have been replaced making the chant in your dream, one that wishes destruction."

"What happens when you activate a corrupted Grail?"

"I imagine that the world would be destroyed by it along with killing whoever interacted with it."

"Then... does that mean your timeline is destroyed?"

My eyes widen, "I..." she looks up at me, with a pained stare, "I didn't consider that at all," I rub my brow, "But... that doesn't make sense if it were to happen we wouldn't be here. I am even more confused at the situation."

She then says, "Maybe because of the power that was 'leaking' you took it for yourself and used it to try and save yourself but managed to pull everyone else along with you?"

I sigh, "We will figure that out when we get the chance to," I state, "For now let's just focus on one thing at a time," I then show my bandaged hand, "I have been doing some experimenting-"

"What did you do?" she asks quickly.

"Before you get angry at me," she then glares, "Maybe I shouldn't lead with that. Anyway, I was trying to figure out what... causes this thing to take over so I tried multiple scenarios. Like hurting myself, forcing myself to try and speak with it, forcing it out with magic, to only think negative thoughts as if it feeds off of it."

"I am going to assume it was a failure."

"The conditions seem to be very specific and I don't understand them," I state, "But this thing isn't capable of taking me over unless it would have. It... might act like a alter ego that enforces chaotic thinking. So it exists within me but as an alternate version of myself and the reason it activated was that it saved me from dying because it needs me to be alive."

"So... it makes you evil at your core?"

I then chuckle, "I ain't no saint but yeah.  That is what I think it is," this took me five hours to come up with if you so much as laugh at me I will cry.

She then groans, "Why did I have to fall in love with someone getting themselves into such a complicated situation?" she then turns around, giving me a peck on the lips, "I am going to take a shower. I am starving get some food as well."

I then throw my arms around her, "Not even a please?"

"Hmm, I'll think about it."

"Then stay a bit longer until you made your mind."

She then slides her arms over my shoulders, "You don't know how tempting that sounds," she presses her lips against mine, kissing slowly and deeply before she teasingly pulls away as I try to follow her.

"We can continue this later," she winks at me, "First. You get some work done and get me food."

"Alright," she then pushes herself off of me, heading straight for the shower.

As I hover around the phone waiting to make the call I think to myself - maybe that is why I felt the way I did. I used magic well beyond my capabilities and circuits were acting up because of it. Necrosis maybe? I wouldn't know since Rin healed me.

If I knew that... if I left it to heal on it's own I would know right now.