Hyewon// Don't Delete The Kisses

Chapter Twelve

Time was passing more and more quickly and, before I knew it, Chaewon and I had been dating for two months and the basketball championship was around the corner. Our relationship was doing pretty well at first, up until the day Chaewon asked about why I don't tell her about my past. After that, it hasn't been bad, but I have been feeling like it's somewhat tense. We still meet regularly and always text or call when we're free, but the way she acts and talks gives me the feeling that she gets more and more anxious about this relationship every day.

"Hyejoo"- she asked me once when we were sitting on a bench outside the college building- "Please be honest with me when I ask this and don't think of me as a psycho or as someone who doesn't trust you. I just want to know. Whenever you tell me stories about yourself, it feels like they're extremely superficial. It's almost like you only let me see the tip of the iceberg when there is so much more underwater. If there is something that I'm doing that makes you uncomfortable with me and keeps you from opening up to me, then please let me know, because the thought of you of all people deliberately hiding something important from me, when I told you everything I could about me, is driving me insane".

I could have said the truth. There and then. But, I'm not Son Hyejoo if I don't make the wrong choice that will clearly have a bad influence on the future, only because I'm scared of getting treated badly again. So, I lied: "Chaewon, I promise, there is nothing else that I have to add to this. My life is just that boring, you won't hear any impactful and important stories. You've done nothing wrong, so, please, calm down and don't stress out so much about something that's not even happening in the first place"- I said this and sat closer to her, putting her hand in mine. She sighed, then looked at me and said:

"Fine, I'll trust you. I'm sorry if I sound like I'm crazy, I just don't want you to hide anything from me"

"You don't sound crazy, Chae, and I understand why you're doing this"- as I said this she put her head on my shoulder, and I put my arm around her waist.

"Thank you for being so understanding of me, Hye. You're the best girlfriend I could ever ask for".

She thinks you're the best girlfriend ever, and yet you don't have the guts to open up to her. Son Hyejoo, why the fuck are you doing this? why are you lying to her? You know she will never hurt you. Why can't you leave the past behind?

I shook these thoughts off and replied:

"I'm not that good, Chae. You, on the other hand, is all I could ever ask for".

We sat there for a while, not saying a word, just enjoying our time together. Then, she asked me:

"Hey, the championship is just around the corner. Are you nervous?"

"Why would I be nervous? The team is strong and the players are all in good shape. I'm also pretty sure that I've never seen Sooyoung practice this hard for anything in her life, so I'm sure that we'll be fine. I'm certain that we'll at least be able to make it all the way to the semi-finals. Then it will get tough, but I'm hoping we'll push through. Even if we don't, it's fine. There's always the next year".

"Jeez, you sure are confident about this. Well, I guess that's a good thing since you always seem to measure risks well enough"- she said and turned her head to kiss my cheek- "Now, speaking of training, I think it's about the time you went to the hall. The coach will kick your ass if you don't get there on time".

"Yeah, you're right about the coach part. Well, I'll get going then. But, before I leave"- I said this and kissed her, then quickly got up and went towards the hall.

"Ugh, Son Hyejoo, you're so unpredictable!"- I heard her tiny voice screaming at me as I kept walking and laughing out loud.

I came into the hall and saw the whole team, including the sub players, already there, getting ready for the final day of training.