An Extra Beat of Love

10. The new worry

Taehyung didn't know what to do. He didn't know how he was going to manage cooking dinner for eight people when his chest was already aching from exhaustion.

The appointment with Park Seojoon, his regular doctor, had lasted for fifteen minutes, the special doctor that Seojoon had referred him to had taken twenty minutes and the stop at the pharmacy had taken a maximum of ten minutes, but the three-and-a-half-hour journey before and after that, making a total of seven hours of journey, had sucked the soul out of him even though he had left Ilsan at seven in the morning. 

He knew where he had gone wrong. He should have said he was tired when Jihyo had asked him about the travel when he returned home.

He shouldn't have acted like he was completely fine, as if he couldn't be finer even when he didn't travel two-hundred-and-fifty-seven kilometers back and forth. 

He shouldn't have played around with Hana just to show everyone that he was very, very fine when he actually was nowhere close to being fine. Not when his battery was about two months close to shutting down. 

That was another thing that had his mind spinning with worry. How was he supposed to gather eight million Won before the end of November? 

It had been extremely hard the previous time and he and his mother had even slept on roads after selling their house and jewellery to get the required money. How was he going to get it now when he didn't even have a house or any jewelry to sell anymore? 

Hana kept talking to him from her place on the opposite counter, but none of the words went into his brain. He just hummed and ahhed to her absentmindedly while his mind decided to replay the specialist's words on repeat.

Eight hours ago......

"The battery is gonna expire soon, Taehyung-ssi. We hardly have two months left. This is your second replacement, right?" the doctor asked him. 

"Yes, sir," Taehyung said. "The original installment was in November 2008 and the first replacement was in November 2014. Hmm....so six years are coming to an end..." the doctor mumbled, reading the dates off Taehyung's medical file. "Is your condition genetic?" he asked. 

"Yes, sir. Also, I was born premature, so it kinda intensified the problem," Taehyung said. 

"Ohh.....are you taking all of your medicines without fail?" the doctor asked. "Yes, sir. My regular doctor even keeps changing the prescription every two weeks depending on my situation," Taehyung said. 

"Ohh....good," the doctor said, "is there anything you wanna say?" 

Taehyung knew what the doctor was trying to ask. No matter how specialized a doctor was, no doctor could diagnose properly unless the patient opened up about everything honestly. 

And he, having experienced the consequences of not being honest with a doctor when he was a teenager, had learned a lesson from his mistake long ago. 

Never lie or try to hide symptoms from a doctor. 

"Umm...actually....I think I'm experiencing the symptoms a bit earlier this time. The symptoms didn't start so early the last time the battery got close to its expiry," Taehyung said. 

"Ohh? Are you overworking yourself nowadays? More than what you used to before?" the doctor asked. "Umm...yeah...uh, kinda. Before, I just used to do part-time job, but now I'm doing it full-time," Taehyung said. 

"Ohh....what job do you do?" the doctor asked. "Cooking," Taehyung said. 

"In a restaurant?? Try not to lift too heavy vess-"

"No, umm...just a resident cook in a friend's house," Taehyung said.  

"Ohh, that's better....you have to be careful though, Taehyung-ssi. Try not to lift any heavy stuff and reduce your physical activity to the minimum. I'm sure your regular doctor has already told you all of these, but I'm telling you just in case," the doctor said. 

Taehyung nodded to the words dutifully even though he was more than used to hearing the same thing from Seojoon. "We'll replace the battery again in November as usual. Can you gather the money required until then? It isn't six anymore. It costs eight million Won now," the doctor said. 

'I can't,' Taehyung wanted to say, but he had to live after all, and if not for that damned battery, he would have been dead by now, and so he needed the replacement like his life depended on it. Well, in his case, it really did. "I'll try, sir," he said. 

"Hmm, okay, Taehyung-ssi. I think we can do it on the 28th of November. My schedule is clear on that day. Come to the hospital on 27th itself. You can pay a little in advance and take a couple of months after the surgery to clear the rest," the doctor said while noting the date down on his calendar. 

"Okay, sir. Thank you," Taehyung said and got up from his seat, his mind already spinning from the panic of how he was supposed to arrange the money required. After receiving a stiff nod from the doctor, he turned around and left the room. 

Once he reached the end of the corridor, he plopped down on one of the waiting chairs, placed his elbows on his thighs, and buried his face in his hands. 

'Should I get a couple of part-time jobs? How am I gonna earn eight million Won in three months even if I do manage to get those jobs when my whole salary goes on buying the medicines required every two weeks?'

"Eomaaaaa," he groaned lowly. 

'Goddamn, why do I always have to fight so hard just to keep breathing like everyone else? Eomma, I so wanna give up and come back to you.....no, I'm sorry, no, I will fight harder. I am sorry I said that Eomma, but I really miss you. I wish you were there with me right now, I don't wanna deal with it alone.'

Taehyung didn't notice the tears that ran down his eyes until they started settling in his hands and wetted his face as a result. 

Pulling himself together, he wiped his wet hands on his pants and then wiped his tears. He took a deep breath and sighed before getting up and walking down the stairs to the floor where Seojoon's cabin was present.