An Extra Beat of Love

26. Overwhelmed and insecure

Taehyung gaped at Jeongguk with his jaw hanging on the floor. "......you....were really....thinking of marrying me...?!"

"Is that all you caught in all of the things I just said, hyung?!" Jeongguk asked, feeling slightly frustrated that the fact that he didn't think of Taehyung as a burden had gone right above Taehyung's head.

"Of course!!" Taehyung exclaimed back incredulously.

Jeongguk sighed and looked down. "Hyung, we can talk about that later. For now, I want you to brand this into your mind or heart or wherever. I do NOT think of you as a burden.

In fact, I feel like a burden to you, you know? You cook for me all the time, despite suffering so bad, you take care of my daughter, you had to suffer because of Jimin and I, you are suffering even now, and you are still thinking of me.....I feel like a burden to you and not the other way around.

If you accept my proposal, you are gonna have to take care of Hana your whole life along with me, and I don't even know if you want to have kids in your life. So tell me who's the bigger burden?" he asked and looked up, only to find Taehyung glaring at him once again with his teeth grinding front and back like there was no tomorrow. 

How he had not heard the sound until then, he would never know.

"I'm going to kill you if you say one more word about you and Hana being a burden to me," Taehyung spat through gritted teeth.

"Glad to know you know how it feels when your boyfriend thinks he is being a burden to you," Jeongguk deadpanned.

Taehyung's shoulders sagged right away. "You are right...." he whispered. "I'm sor-"

Jeongguk got up and slammed his lips onto Taehyung's ones, stopping him from apologizing to him. 

"Don't say sorry, hyung. You know how it feels, so just don't do it again. Also, it's okay if you think everything's too early, because it feels absurd to me too. It hasn't even been a month since we met, so it's okay if you take your time to answer me.

You can think of it as an arranged marriage too if you want. You know....like those people who marry first and fall in love next....I think you are gonna be perfect in my life. And we are already a step closer to loving each other, so I don't see why I shouldn't be considering you as a life partner. Like I said, take your time, okay?" he said after pulling out of the kiss with his hands still on Taehyung's face and his eyes boring into Taehyung's teary ones.

Taehyung brought his hands up and placed them on Jeongguk's hands. "I.....I do think it is too early, very very early, but trust me, I can't think of living any other way, either. But...." he looked down and bit his lower lip, not knowing how he was supposed to tell Jeongguk that he wasn't even sure if he was going to keep living after four or more months if he did not get the required money within three months. 

"...but?" Jeongguk took his hands off Taehyung's face and sat down on the chair next to his bed with his hand now intertwined with Taehyung's hand. 

"....umm....there's something I need to do, Gguk. Give me some time. Maybe like...three or four months....I dunno how long it's gonna take, but.....lemme complete that work, and then I'll give you a proper answer. I promise," Taehyung said. He supposed that was the most he could tell without giving away any important details. 

"Well, if you told me what it is, then I can help too, right?" Jeongguk asked. He didn't like how vague Taehyung was being with him, but he knew he couldn't push too much. It was too early to earn his trust completely, after all. 

"No, Jeongguk. Trust me, I need to do this alone. I don't like taking people's help. And I am sorry for what happened last night. I thought I could manage for two days but tha-"