An Extra Beat of Love

32. I love you

Tears didn't stop running down Jeongguk's face as he lay down on the couch with Taehyung in his arms. How had he not thought of an oxygen tank all these days? 

He knew that it was high time he researched Taehyung's condition. The problem was that he did not remember what it was. 

Something about having an extra heartbeat? And something about it being too weak to pump properly? He didn't know who or what to ask. He didn't know if Google would answer him right if he searched 'condition where the heart is too weak to pump'.

All those nights when Taehyung had struggled to breathe, he should have known that an oxygen tank was the answer. He saw how peaceful Taehyung's sleep was despite lying down straight in his arms, something that would have been nearly impossible for him without the mask that was now helping him breathe. 

He had woken up to faint wheezes earlier. He was generally a heavy sleeper, but the guilt of having landed Jimin in the ER didn't let him sleep too deeply, thus making Taehyung's wheezes in the living room audible to him. 

He had thrown open the room door, only to find his boyfriend struggling so hard to breathe on the couch. He couldn't believe Taehyung had thought of his and his daughter's sleep even in such a situation. 

He had rushed to rub his back and chest and had tried to ask him what he needed, but he was sure Taehyung couldn't even hear him. 

He had been sure that he himself would die of a heart attack before his boyfriend's shitty heart failed him. 

He couldn't bear to see his struggle, but he supposed that the least he could do for him when he was struggling so hard was to stay by his side and rub his chest, trying to ease a little air in. 

It was when Taehyung had wheezed the word 'tank' out that Jeongguk realized that he needed an oxygen tank. Thankfully, he had already called for an ambulance and the vehicle was already on its way. 

He was just about to assure Taehyung that he would soon have a tank when his phone rang. Assuming it was the ambulance, he ran to answer it, and ran out of the house to give him the directions to his house. 

His heart dropped when he ran back into the house with the paramedics. It seemed as if Taehyung had given up trying. 

He prayed it wasn't too late when the paramedics placed the mask on his face. After doing a few vital checks, the paramedics had declared that he was good to stay at home as long as he used the oxygen mask to help him breathe. 

With a relieved huff, he bought a couple of oxygen tanks from them, and once they left, he rushed back to Taehyung and lay him down and lay down next to him and wrapped his arms around him, making sure to hold him gently but completely in his arms. 

It scared him. The prospect that he could literally lose his boyfriend in a matter of minutes terrified him and recalling the situation a few minutes ago was like a reality check for him. 

He looked at Taehyung's face once again, this time with a small smile on his face, glad that he did not lose him. Not this time. He leaned forward and placed a loud but gentle kiss on Taehyung's forehead. 

'You really make me realize that we don't have time in our hands, hyung. I shouldn't keep waiting for the 'right time' and all. Now is always the right time forever,' he realized.

"I love you, hyung. Despite how stubborn you are and how much we fight because of that, I love you. I love how self-reliant and independent you are. Most of all, I love how you never waver from your principles despite how hard things get for you. I simply just love you, hyung," he said gently, knowing Taehyung was too into sleep to hear him anyway.